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Toilet Roll Conumdrum


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Supermarkets are full of a fine array of arse wipes - but which to choose?

Should I opt for the much more expensive but obviously more luxurious quilted range: should I go for the standard paper roll that does not have those cute little embossed animal faces, but is still a substantail roll, in the top-end of the medium price range; or should I go for the cheaper end of the market with the "economy" roll - economical in both size and quality (feels like a slight upgrade from sandpaper) but it's only for wiping your cornchute right?

Ho-Hum :wacko:

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Go for the ones that don't have the cute pictures, but are still quilted. Having to wipe oneself with anything that isn't soft is a bad time indeed. The small increase in cost will make a big difference in the longrun. No butt blisters, and no clogged toilets! (assuming the human product doesn't do that already)

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Quite the topic of conversation, but will throw in my two cents here:

#1. I go for anything that doesn't shear off when wiping and ultimately leaving

dingleberries needing surgical removal from ones anal region.

#2. The cute little faces are great until they get wet and you press them against

your butt. Nothing more embarrassing than your wife asking you, "Do you

have a tattoo of a penguin on your butt".

#3. Also have to take into consideration the type of download. Are you a pebble

kind of guy (no matter how hard you try, you get pebbles at the bottom of

the toilet), a hershey squirt wet type of guy, or maybe a ghostie turd kind of

guy (no matter how much you go, when you wipe, there's nothing on the

paper) ?? All of this is important !!!

#4. Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I'll blow my nose while doing my business

and like to have a quality paper that can fill the dual role of wiping and

blowing. Just ensure you don't blow AFTER wiping, causing you to lose

consciousness, bust your head, bleed, and require a completely different type

of paper. (We won't go there)

#5. Anyone read while sitting on the can ?? The question then is, what are you

reading ?? If it's Sports Illustrated or something of that nature, you are good.

If it's something of an erotic nature, causing you to "Handle" your business,

then a heftier paper will be required for clean up.

After years of being in the Army and downloading in many parts of the world, I came up with the solution to the age old question of which paper to use.

The answer is easy... BABYWIPES !!!

They handle all types of download, (would consider backup with the wet DL), you can take them anywhere you go, are cheeper than toilet paper, and smell good to boot. All this leaves your ass fresh and clean at a low low price !!! If it's good enough for your baby's ass, shouldn't it be good enough for you ??

Well, I hope the time I put into this and all my years of training in the Army benefit someone on this site and finally lay this question to rest. Good wiping to you all !!!


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This might seem out of line, but I would like to make a self nomination for my last post as the "Post of the week" as it's bound to have a huge long term effect on many Bengalszone members. Thank you for your consideration !!! :D


I second that motion ............................... with is very very apt. :rolleyes:

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I don't know whether to be impressed with your thoughtfulness on this subject matter or scared that you have obviously spent a long time thinking about this issue. :ph34r:

Spend 60-120 days s**tting on the side of a road, behind bushes, in boxes, in cans, as well as various other things and you to will have much information on the topic as well. It's amazing what you do when you have no toilets and no showers for such a long period of time. Thank a Soldier or Marine the next time you have the chance !!!


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