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Cheap Jersey / COB Rant Thread


anthoneye

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I'm all over this. When I enjoy the best online shipping experience, I'll be like, "What's up fools, who aren't enjoying this experience?" I'll defeat my enemies with these 19 dollar NFL jerseys. Don't try to get in on this, I'm buying so many of these ***damn things they'll run out of 8-year-olds to chain to sewing machines. But don't worry fellas, I'll use the power bestowed upon me by my abundance of nineteen dollar NFL jerseys for good. Ha ha! JK! When the awesome power of thousands of these things becomes mine, I'll do so much evil shit the devil will be taking notes! Ha Ha Ha!! Finally! The world is mine!

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When, through the power of these nineteen dollar jerseys, I become the world's evil overlord, you guys here in Bengalszone won't have anything to worry about. I'll go around just totally wrecking places with tsunamis of garbage trucks and stuff like that, but you guys will all be safe. Even though I'm an evil overlord, I've got a benevolent streak that, lets face it, you dickheads don't really deserve.

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First order of business for this nineteen-dollar-jersey-fueled evil overlord is to engage in some time travel. First, back to my senior prom, and this time I totally put it to Karen Weaver instead of chickening out. Second, I go to the battle of Gettysburg, but I take a helicopter and a 50 caliber machine gun. I'm flying around, "what's that, Pickett's charge?" Then I open up on them with my death dealing automatic weapon. Guys are like, "across the field, for Virginia, charge!" They take like two steps and get cut into 3 pieces. General Sickles dies in a friendly fire "accident," and history subsequently gives George Meade the respect he deserves. Afterward I land my chopper and a grateful crowd of Union soldiers go, "Three cheers for Leopard Print Snuggie! (I'm wearing my Raiders jersey) Hip hip, hooray!" I stick around long enough for Lincoln to show up and give me a bunch of medals. Then I head down to Georgia and find Scarlett O'Hara, I woo her, impress her with my chopper, and marry her. The end.

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AP - (Central Ohio) - the self-styled Evil Overlord of Everything was found dead tonight. According to the coronor's report, the cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. A large cast iron skillet was found next to the body. When questioned, Mrs. Evil Overlord said, "I told him to stay away from those dumbasses on the Bengalszone but he wouldn't listen. I did what I did for the good of all mankind." No charges have been filed. :P

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I couldn't delete the thread. I just couldn't do it.

If ever you decide to change your name here COB, at least you now have a new option.

"Leopard Print Snuggie"

Seriously, who were you partying with last night?

Even though I'm an evil overlord, I've got a benevolent streak that, lets face it, you dickheads don't really deserve

Nice !!!

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