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Is this wrong?

HairOnFire

By HairOnFire
in Cincinnati Bengals

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DC_Bengals_Fan Newbie

DC_Bengals_Fan

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I'd love to say that I'm bigger than that. That I'm not such a petty individual that I begrudge the citizens of Cleveland a minor victory here or there to add some relief to their pitiful existence.

I'd be lying though. F*** 'em! ;)

ESPN just did a montage of Cleveland sports pain over the years. Mays' catch, the drive, the fumble, Art Modell, Jordan killing them, etc, etc. Hilarious. I think I enjoyed that entirely too much.

I actually wish I was in Cleveland so I could be in a bar when this goes down.

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HairOnFire Newbie

HairOnFire

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I actually wish I was in Cleveland so I could be in a bar when this goes down.

I find it more satisfying to laugh from slightly afar.

Close enough to see the bitter beer faces, but not so close as to risk being splattered by thrown feces or the contents of overturned gravy bowls.

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DC_Bengals_Fan Newbie

DC_Bengals_Fan

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I find it more satisfying to laugh from slightly afar.

Close enough to see the bitter beer faces, but not so close as to risk being splattered by thrown feces or the contents of overturned gravy bowls.

Get a seat near the door and haul ass. C'mon, the obesity rate up there is insane, I'm getting away clean. And if any of those mouth-breathers could throw straight, they'd be playing for the Indians. It's worth the risk.

I spent a summer there once, I need catharsis.

EDIT: Bwahahahahah!!!!! Somebody watch the bridges and tall buildings in Cleveland.

EDIT: ESPN actually showed the reaction from a Cleveland bar. Glorious.

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derekshank Newbie

derekshank

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I'm worried that I've crossed a line... that there is no longer any hope for me. I am convinced that I am firmly rooted in a personality with the terrible character flaw of being a heartless bastard.

I believe this about myself because I found that video to be the funniest thing I've seen in months.

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redsbengalsbucks Newbie

redsbengalsbucks

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Man that has to hurt, to lose the only hope that a city has for winning anything. Good Luck Lebron I for one understand why you would want out of the armpit of OHIO.

Cleveland Blows!! It is by far the worst city that I have ever visited and that includes Detroit.

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BlainThePain Newbie

BlainThePain

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I understand why Lebron left, but you have to admit that he went about it in the scummiest way possible. Stringing along your hometown fans for weeks and then breaking their hearts on a one hour, nationally televised special.

They had to live with the agony of "The Drive" for decades, and now they'll have to deal with "The Decision" for another couple of decades.

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HairOnFire Newbie

HairOnFire

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I'm worried that I've crossed a line... that there is no longer any hope for me. I am convinced that I am firmly rooted in a personality with the terrible character flaw of being a heartless bastard.

"A good hate can be a very satisfying thing." --- HOF

(Source:Life Lessons Your Mama Won't Teach...But I Will, by HairOnFire, 1976 - A Little Golden Book)

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Kazkal Newbie

Kazkal

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I understand why Lebron left, but you have to admit that he went about it in the scummiest way possible. Stringing along your hometown fans for weeks and then breaking their hearts on a one hour, nationally televised special.

They had to live with the agony of "The Drive" for decades, and now they'll have to deal with "The Decision" for another couple of decades.

Maybe he didn't know until last day or 2? most thought Cleveland was the favorite until the stuff about party planned at south beach came out.

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HairOnFire Newbie

HairOnFire

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I understand why Lebron left, but you have to admit that he went about it in the scummiest way possible. Stringing along your hometown fans for weeks and then breaking their hearts on a one hour, nationally televised special.

Here's how I see things. Lebron flat-out quitting against the Celtics in game five of their series is roughly equal to Tiger Woods crashing his SUV into a tree. Compounding the damage, LeBron's crass decision to televise his decision, while hilarious on some levels, equates to Tiger's almost endless parade of skanks and mistresses.

Two once glorious reputations in freefall.

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HairOnFire Newbie

HairOnFire

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I found the following on a Browns messageboard and immediately wished I had written it.

LeBron James Is A Cocksucker

Tomorrow is the day LeBron James becomes the most unlikable person in the NBA, and perhaps all of American sports. I used to think he was okay a year ago. No more. He's the villain now.

It doesn't matter where he opts to go. If he goes to Chicago, he's a cocksucker. If he goes to Miami, he's a cocksucker. Even if he goes back to Cleveland, he's a ***damn cocksucker. He's a self-aggrandizing sack of s**t, and ESPN is a bunch of p***y-whipped enablers for giving him a free hour of airtime tomorrow night and inevitably using 55 minutes of it to let Stu Scott give him a rimjob.

Look at what Kevin Durant did today. He signed an extension well before he could have filed for free agency, announced the signing, and then went back about his business. He didn't need all this dog-and-pony show bulls**t. James does, and that means he's a dips**t. People have been kissing this man's ass SINCE xxxxING MIDDLE SCHOOL, and he still needs this hourlong AFI tribute special? Bulls**t. BULLs**t.

And I don't care that he asked ESPN to use the commercial airtime tomorrow night to go to charity. That's the most transparent use of charity for the sake of self-glorification I've seen since I saw some actor do it yesterday. "Hey ESPN, why don't you spend an hour kissing my ass? Oh, don't worry. We'll give the money to AIDS babies. That totally makes me selfless." No, it doesn't.

And xxxx YOU to ESPN for going along with this "Bonds on Bonds" redux. If an ESPN reporter found concrete proof tomorrow morning that James was going to Cleveland or somewhere else, do you think ESPN would let him run with it? xxxx AND NO. They'd stick him in a xxxxing Lucite box and throw him in the cellar until 10PM. They're the whoringest whores that have ever whored. I heard they offered LeBron's crew free blowjobs if he wins a title next year. Wilbon asked to blow him JUST A LITTLE BIT. Not much. Just a little bit.

LeBron is now the guy you openly root against. If he leaves Cleveland tomorrow night, he'll have needlessly strung along an entire fanbase and given them the middle finger by making their breakup spectacularly public. If he stays, he'll have spent two years cockteasing the rest of the world about going somewhere else when he probably never wanted to leave Ohio to begin with. There's no end result tomorrow that makes LeBron a sympathetic figure. He's already gone past the point of no return. He's a cocksucker. Fitting that his most memorable career moment will come when he doesn't even take a xxxxing shot. He's a guy that cares more about the end result of playing basketball – massive, unending adulation – than he does actual basketball.

I don't begrudge him that attitude. I'd be the same way if I were a basketball player. All I'd give a s**t about would be what I make and where I'm drinking tonight. And I don't begrudge him the right to play somewhere other than Cleveland. It's Cleveland. It blows. There's nothing to do in that town except masturbate and cry. But there's a normal way of doing things, and there's the dick way of doing things, and making your own free agency a two-year drama capped off with an infomercial directed by Senor Spielbergo falls squarely in the purview of FLAMING xxxxING DICK MOVES. James is trying to bulls**t the world into believing this whole process is some great entertainment he's lavishing upon you. It's not. It's a con. Right now, a lot of people aren't buying the s**t this man is selling. And really, that's all LeBron James is these days: a xxxxing salesman.


/>http://deadspin.com/5581889/lebron-james-is-a-cocksucker

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Sea Ray Newbie

Sea Ray

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I must say hating Cleveland is a guilty pleasure of mine too. Sports aside Cleveland has the worst weather of any city in the country, it has a horrible economy, a toxic Great Lake that you wouldn't let your dog swim in, horrible schools, crime out the wazoo and now let's get to the sports...

Today they see one of their own, Cliff Lee, change teams once again. The Indians have to sit back every Oct and see the likes of Sabathia, Lee, ManRam, Martinez, Blake, Ludwick and others still playing. The Cavs will now start contending for a lottery pick and their hopes now boil down to the Browns.

Wonder why more fans don't follow the lead of Mel Turpin?

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DC_Bengals_Fan Newbie

DC_Bengals_Fan

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Thanks for posting that, Hair. Sadly it was the best read on the topic I've seen all summer. And surprisingly well-written for (presumably) a product of the Cleveland public school system.

I made the same point about the charity angle - doesn't give you a "get out of douchebaggery free" card.

Also, I love that this board censors "***damn" but not "cocksucker". That made my day. I think I'll be using the word "cocksucker" a lot more now.

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cincyhokie Collaborator

cincyhokie

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The following is off topic, clearly doesn't belong in this forum, and as a result won't interest many people.

That said...

I don't care where LeBron James goes as long as he doesn't stay in Cleveland.

It's true.

I hate Browns fans that much.

:lmao:

I agree. I ALMOST feel bad about it. Almost.

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COB Veteran

COB

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I watched "the Decision" at the home of a friend who is a Browns fan. I laughed my ass off, especially when they showed the reaction of the people in a bar in Cleveland. If they had installed a camera in every sports bar in the Cleveland area, they'd have a winning hour of broadcasting just showing the already afflicted taking the knife in the back from their pride and joy golden child.

I now love LeBron James. Wouldn't even stay in the mistake for the hometown bonus!

The repeated references by the announcers to the poor Cleveland fans, how they can't get a break, etc., were beautiful. Hey Cleveland, your aren't feared, you aren't respected. You are pitied.

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ArmyBengal Grand Master

ArmyBengal

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I don't give a sh*t if Lebron stayed in Cleveland or not and today I still can't find reason to give a sh*t. I don't care if Lebron is the biggest douchebag in sports history and I also don't care what happens to the Cavs from here on out. However, I must admit to taking great pleasure in how the fans of Cleveland and their owner are in a circle jerk of self loathing and misery. Did Lebron quit on their team in the playoffs ?? Nope, don't care. Is he a self glorifying whore of a person ?? Sorry, don't care about that either.

Hearing the Cavs owner claim the Cleveland curse will follow Lebron to South Florida and how the Cavs will win a Championship before the Heat ??

Some of the funniest and stupidest sh*t to ever come out of a pro sports team owners mouth !!!

Everytime I see how mad Cleveland is at Lebron, I seriously laugh out loud. Hate Lebron ?? Not a chance in hell.

He may be my favorite sports figure at this moment in time...

Keep crying you Cleveland b*tches !!! I'll keep laughing !!!

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

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