SteelerFan87 Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 Could this be any more silly?YES! There could be midgets. No way! How did you guess! A guy I know has a friend who's cousin knows a guy who overheard someone talking about how their sister's boyfriend heard from his aquaintance who knows a guy who was there, that after Porter tackled Levi, they both got up and started throwing midgets at each other until one of them missed and hit a car and it exploded, blowing up half the city. Yeah, it's all true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stripes Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 Could this be any more silly?YES! There could be midgets. No way! How did you guess! A guy I know has a friend who's cousin knows a guy who overheard someone talking about how their sister's boyfriend heard from his aquaintance who knows a guy who was there, that after Porter tackled Levi, they both got up and started throwing midgets at each other until one of them missed and hit a car and it exploded, blowing up half the city. Yeah, it's all true. Dude, that was the previous night. The real fight occured in the city rubble the next morning. The black jack table in the story was actually a generalized term meant to explain the ruined casino across the street.I also hear that every punch each player threw caused a sonic boom to resonate all over the west coast, and oceanic tides were irregular throughout the confrontation. Three accomplished fisherman lost their ships to the seas, and are rumored to be hiring lawyers for compensation from the NFL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelerFan87 Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 Could this be any more silly?YES! There could be midgets. No way! How did you guess! A guy I know has a friend who's cousin knows a guy who overheard someone talking about how their sister's boyfriend heard from his aquaintance who knows a guy who was there, that after Porter tackled Levi, they both got up and started throwing midgets at each other until one of them missed and hit a car and it exploded, blowing up half the city. Yeah, it's all true. Dude, that was the previous night. The real fight occured in the city rubble the next morning. The black jack table in the story was actually a generalized term meant to explain the ruined casino across the street.I also hear that every punch each player threw caused a sonic boom to resonate all over the west coast, and oceanic tides were irregular throughout the confrontation. Three accomplished fisherman lost their ships to the seas, and are rumored to be hiring lawyers for compensation from the NFL.Yeah, and to train for the fight, they each fought Chuck Norris. And then when they were ready and they actually started to throw down, their punches opened time portals and caused the extinction of the dinosaurs, the destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the eruption of Mt St. Helens, and the destruction of Atlantis.At least that's what I heard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stripes Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 It's understandable, given that each player is a direct descendant of Alexander the Great...Okay, I'd better stop before another mod bans me for being such a nerd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjakq27 Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 It's understandable, given that each player is a direct descendant of Alexander the Great...Okay, I'd better stop before another mod bans me for being such a nerd. Could this be any more silly?I am waiting for this to be on Celebrity Deathmatch.Well here's an eye witness account, in case it wasn't posted yet (didn't see it). Sounds like Porter was the instigator and was totally out of control - what an idiot:Are you sure that Mike Brown or Marvin Lewis weren't involved? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirkendall Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 Are you sure that Mike Brown or Marvin Lewis weren't involved?Yes. Because if free agency is indicative towards trends, we wouldn't have any cap room.. therefore we'd have to wait for the draft to get another fighter. But I do think Don King, Agent Smith, Christopher Lee and Spain were involved in this. But I think it's safe to say that no Frenchman was involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HairOnFire Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 Are you sure that Mike Brown or Marvin Lewis weren't involved?Yes. Because if free agency is indicative towards trends, we wouldn't have any cap room.. therefore we'd have to wait for the draft to get another fighter. True, but you don't have to pay midgets to fight. They'll gladly throw down for free...and fight to the death, if needed. In fact, I've heard they come from a warrior society where spilled blood, broken teeth, and severed ears are considered the coin of the realm. No kidding. I read it on the internet.**A series or collection of tubes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riagogogoindanati Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 Albeit minor offenses, he does a history of doing stupid stuff, unlike a guy like Warrick Dunn who has a history of helping people and being a good all round person, see my point. Porter has no reason to act in such a juvenille manner, he's 30 year old father who could use his influence to help others. Instead he acts like a teenager who needs some discipline.'Roids will make a man do strange things........And make their man parts smaller. Maybe that's why his panties were in a wad in Vegas?BTW......TDB and 87........the nerd in me really enjoyed your previous banter back and forth with one another. Thank you. It was most amusing to my day.Thank you, again.and jjakq.........Jones/Porter would make an excellent celebrity death match fight, of course leading up to the big event of Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchey. I would like to see those two b*tches duke it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldschooler Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 Well here's an eye witness account, in case it wasn't posted yet (didn't see it). Sounds like Porter was the instigator and was totally out of control - what an idiot:Former Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Joey Porter was accused of punching Cincinnati Bengals lineman Levi Jones after police said the players exchanged trash talk at a blackjack table in Las Vegas this weekend.Porter was issued a summons on a misdemeanor battery charge after the Sunday altercation that began inside the Palms hotel-casino, Las Vegas police said."They went outside. In the valet area, one struck the other, causing a small laceration above the eye," said Officer Martin Wright, calling the injury minor. "We have determined that he (Jones) did not sustain any serious injuries," Bengals spokesman Jack Brennan said. "Other than that, it's just not something that warrants any comment."On Tuesday, witness Dave Benz came forward, describing the fight as something out of a "Rocky" movie."They were throwing down," said Benz. "They must have each gotten in a good three or four swings. Then all of a sudden, the bigger guy who I found out later was Levi Jones, picked up Joey Porter and tossed him probably 10 feet like he was a rag doll."Benz said there was about 10 seconds where people broke the fight up, but said Porter broke loose and went after Jones again."Joey Porter broke free and ran full sprint at Levi Jones and dove through the air at him like he was trying to tackle Ladanian Tomlinson. Took him down with a tackle, then the two of them got up. They were throwing fists again. It sounded like a 'Rocky' movie."Benz said Porter later kicked Jones in the head, causing some bleeding.Benz said the whole incident started when Porter confronted Jones while he was playing poker.Porter signed a five-year, $32 million deal with the Miami Dolphins earlier this month."We will monitor the situation and refrain from making any further comment until we gather more information," Dolphins coach Cam Cameron said.Wright said a written police investigation and report won't be complete until at least the end of the week.Here is audio from Dave Benz (the guy quoted in the Pittsburgh paper and his friend Gary) who witnessed the fight:http://www.sportscastingjobs.com/mpegs/gary.mp3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelerFan87 Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 It's understandable, given that each player is a direct descendant of Alexander the Great...Okay, I'd better stop before another mod bans me for being such a nerd. Yeah, that's true. They were actually twins produced when Alexander the Great and King Leonidas simultaneously impregnated Angelina Jolie.(if you think about it, that's really not too far fetched) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirkendall Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 It's understandable, given that each player is a direct descendant of Alexander the Great...Okay, I'd better stop before another mod bans me for being such a nerd. Yeah, that's true. They were actually twins produced when Alexander the Great and King Leonidas simultaneously impregnated Angelina Jolie.(if you think about it, that's really not too far fetched)She doesn't get impregnated. She adapts boys in Asia. No, no, you sick bastards... that's NOT like Michael Jackson -- he gives them back. God bless her soul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelerFan87 Posted March 22, 2007 Report Share Posted March 22, 2007 It's understandable, given that each player is a direct descendant of Alexander the Great...Okay, I'd better stop before another mod bans me for being such a nerd. Yeah, that's true. They were actually twins produced when Alexander the Great and King Leonidas simultaneously impregnated Angelina Jolie.(if you think about it, that's really not too far fetched)She doesn't get impregnated. She adapts boys in Asia. No, no, you sick bastards... that's NOT like Michael Jackson -- he gives them back. God bless her soul.The only reason she does that is because the last time she was pregnant, the twins she gave birth to had an epic battle that destroyed Las Vegas. And the Dinosaurs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
palmmyjohnson Posted March 23, 2007 Report Share Posted March 23, 2007 No kidding. I read it on the internet.**A series or collection of tubes.No the internet is just a big truck, not a series of tubes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
membengal Posted March 23, 2007 Report Share Posted March 23, 2007 If you all don't normally read MJD, you should. And, I promise you, you need to read this:http://www.themightymjd.com/2007/03/20/joe...cript/#commentsBrilliance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stripes Posted March 23, 2007 Report Share Posted March 23, 2007 If you all don't normally read MJD, you should. And, I promise you, you need to read this:http://www.themightymjd.com/2007/03/20/joe...cript/#commentsBrilliance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HairOnFire Posted March 23, 2007 Report Share Posted March 23, 2007 "… I’m sorry, I can’t let you take my wife to Sherwin-Williams so they can color-match her vagina." I realize Joey Porter is an 8-Ball, but there's no need to color-match anyones vagina. Just go to Home Depot, find the Behr Paint display...and look for "Desert Rose". Handy Hint: For more life like results ask for semi-gloss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjakq27 Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 "… I'm sorry, I can't let you take my wife to Sherwin-Williams so they can color-match her vagina." I realize Joey Porter is an 8-Ball, but there's no need to color-match anyones vagina. Just go to Home Depot, find the Behr Paint display...and look for "Desert Rose". Handy Hint: For more life like results ask for semi-gloss.Wow...that's a real thread stopper! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kazkal Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 so is the video public yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Section 310 Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Hobson said the police will not release it until next week, but that the Las Vegas PD confirmed it shows Jones getting the bum's rush from several of Porter's posse. What a piece of dung. He should face a longer suspension than your average player busted for dope or a DUI. An assault, domestic violence, should be treated more harshly. Michael Vick is an idiot for trying to take a personal stash of weed through security at an airport, but a guy like Porter showed a complete lack of respect for the safety of everyone in that casino. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjakq27 Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 so is the video public yet?Haven't seen it yet. Now's the commissioner's chance to try out some of the new rules. http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/art...240373/1066/SPT Video: Porter attacked Jones A redacted report on the incident Sunday night in Las Vegas regarding an attack on Bengals left tackle Levi Jones was completed late Friday and sent to the district attorney's office. The report said Jones was gambling at a table at the Palms casino when approached by former Steelers linebacker Joey Porter, an on-field rival, Las Vegas Police told The Enquirer. Video of the incident shows that Porter, now with the Miami Dolphins, struck Jones first above the eye with a closed fist. Several unidentified men then joined in and punched Jones. The incident was witnessed by a friend of Jones'. The friend was gambling with Jones. Porter was charged with misdemeanor battery and released. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirkendall Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Anyone want to wager that Goodell doesn't do a thing about it? Since he's not a Bengal player, there's no need for suspensions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defender Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Anyone want to wager that Goodell doesn't do a thing about it? Since he's not a Bengal player, there's no need for suspensions.My vote is he gets the slap on the wrist punishment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spor_tees Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Anyone want to wager that Goodell doesn't do a thing about it? Since he's not a Bengal player, there's no need for suspensions.My vote is he gets the slap on the wrist punishment.If they do just give him a slap on the wrist, they should atleast have 5 guys slap him on the wrist at the same time so the punishment fits the crime. But on a serious note, if this all was witnessed by one of Levi's friends, why didn't his friend jump in to try and help Levi out and pull some of the guys off of him? Also, what took Casino security so long to break it up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Defender Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 But on a serious note, if this all was witnessed by one of Levi's friends, why didn't his friend jump in to try and help Levi out and pull some of the guys off of him? Also, what took Casino security so long to break it up?I think his "friend" was his girlfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jditty47 Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 well according to the police report it was started by porter and his posse jumped jones. i hope porter sees jail time, but that is up to jones and whether he wants to press charges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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