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HoosierCat

Superheroes in Real Life

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I've been a number of superheroes in my time. Projectile Vomit-Man, The Drunk-Skunk, Stupid-MFer-Man, Box-O-Rox Man, No-Direction-Man, Insensitive You-Man and The Lazy-Ass to name a few.

Most of these were given to me by Mrs. JJ, aka, The Blue Mood, Super Beotch and The Incessant Nag.

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I think it's obvious that anyone known as HairOnFire spends his free time fighting crime and undoing the wrongs of this evil and unforgiving world. What may not be as obvious is how HairOnFire is NOT my only secret identity. In fact, I have several, including....

Blind Homer - Based upon the legend of the blind swordsman Blind Homer is said to be capable of drinking beer under trying conditions, without injury, often with his eyes closed. Also known to love bacon and boobies, as well as bacon covered boobies. As of this time Blind Homers fondness for boobie covered bacon remains undetermined, but is considered likely.

The Apologist - Steadfast defender of balding sports owners. Use of poison pen now considered legendary as is the always lethal keystroke of death. Ironically, offers no apology for his behavior.

Apathy Man - [RETIRED]

Inappropriately Nude Man - Known to frequent Mexican resorts, usually seen on balconies or in hot tubs after 3AM.

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I could be known as "The Stench" - and my motto would be "Truth and Justice through Flatulence"

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Also known to love bacon and boobies, as well as bacon covered boobies. As of this time Blind Homers fondness for boobie covered bacon remains undetermined, but is considered likely.

The Boobiemiester raises an eyebrow of interest at this. Breakfast could well become his favorite meal of the day!

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OK, this is the best Cincy could come up with?

"Shadow Hare"?

I found it no surprise the nerd has taken an ass whoopin! Hilarious story though.

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This has BAD written all over it.

I mean hasn't anyone ever told this kid not to bring pepper spray to a gun fight ??

If these goofballs want to roam the streets to fight crime, they'd be better served using cell phones to call the police as their primary weapon. If they try confrontation, it likely won't end well.

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This has BAD written all over it.

I mean hasn't anyone ever told this kid not to bring pepper spray to a gun fight ??

If these goofballs want to roam the streets to fight crime, they'd be better served using cell phones to call the police as their primary weapon. If they try confrontation, it likely won't end well.

Oh, I dunno. If I were a crook who encountered The Justice Bunny Shadow Hare, I might laugh so hard I rupture myself or something...

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OK, this is the best Cincy could come up with?

"Shadow Hare"?

The only thing stupider than nerds pretending to be super heroes is that someone thought it qualified as news.

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Also known to love bacon and boobies, as well as bacon covered boobies. As of this time Blind Homers fondness for boobie covered bacon remains undetermined, but is considered likely.

The Boobiemiester raises an eyebrow of interest at this. Breakfast could well become his favorite meal of the day!

Check out WEBN's website!

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This has BAD written all over it.

I mean hasn't anyone ever told this kid not to bring pepper spray to a gun fight ??

If these goofballs want to roam the streets to fight crime, they'd be better served using cell phones to call the police as their primary weapon. If they try confrontation, it likely won't end well.

I feel really bad for these kids. I dont think they realize super heroes have some kind of powers...or master some kind of martial art. If batman didn't know 12 different types of fighting styles he wouldnt be out fighting guys with guns.

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This has BAD written all over it.

I mean hasn't anyone ever told this kid not to bring pepper spray to a gun fight ??

If these goofballs want to roam the streets to fight crime, they'd be better served using cell phones to call the police as their primary weapon. If they try confrontation, it likely won't end well.

I feel really bad for these kids. I dont think they realize super heroes have some kind of powers...or master some kind of martial art. If batman didn't know 12 different types of fighting styles he wouldnt be out fighting guys with guns.

Also... Batman is fictional. That's an important part to remember too.

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The whole D&D thing must have gone by the wayside and this is what we ended up with.

I mean isn't it bad enough you haven't had any friends to this point in time in your life that you had to go this route ??

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Here's the problem.

Shadow Hare needs a nemesis.

Behind every super hero, there's a great super villain, right? Superman has Lex Luthor, Batman has the Joker, Professor Xavier has Magneto, etc.

Your average mugger on the street just doesn't cut it as "The" enemy, y'know?

So, let's put our minds to it. Who can we think of in Cincy who would make a good nemesis? Maybe someone along the lines of Marvel's Kingpin: a businessman who lines his pockets with monies he's done nothing to earn while delivering heartbreak after heartbreak to local citizens year after year. A person who already has his own elite force of costumed goons (an absolute must-have for any self-respecting crime lord) and a chief flunky given to oddly-timed chucking and giggling. Someone who has cowed local government into submission and tied attempts to bring him to account up in court for years.

Yeah, someone like that... :D

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This has BAD written all over it.

I mean hasn't anyone ever told this kid not to bring pepper spray to a gun fight ??

If these goofballs want to roam the streets to fight crime, they'd be better served using cell phones to call the police as their primary weapon. If they try confrontation, it likely won't end well.

I feel really bad for these kids. I dont think they realize super heroes have some kind of powers...or master some kind of martial art. If batman didn't know 12 different types of fighting styles he wouldnt be out fighting guys with guns.

Also... Batman is fictional. That's an important part to remember too.

NO HE'S NAWT!

:D :D

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Worth a chuckle...

He needs a shrink way more than a sidekick. :rolleyes:

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Well too bad that superheroes can't fly in real life.

Unless you are that Sully that saved the people, in the Miracle Hudson that is!

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