Reasons to avoid getting hitched

[Ox]

Ok just need some encouraging (or discouraging) advice on why a man should marry.

I am to be married July 23rd. I have been dating this young lady for 3 1/2 years, including 1 year of college. She is beautiful, smart and loves me a LOT. However, I am a horrible boyfriend, and have been as long as I remember. Sometimes I can't wait for marriage, other times it scares the bejesus out of me.

She wants to have kids right away! Kids?

I can't imagine God allowing me to procreate!

All of my boys tell me there are 125 Mil females in the US, why cut off your pipeline by getting married. I am 26 by the way, so seems to me that there is plenty of time to settle down, right?

Will I be able to watch my Sunday Ticket in peace? Will the flow of poon stop after the nuptials? Someone help a brotha out here. Am I just having panic-no-other-poon-for-the-rest-of-your-life-attacks or what?

Any ideas other than to grow up?

[ArmyBengal]

I can only speak for myself and the Military lifestyle doesn't help the whole marital thing much, but I learned alot from my first marriage and hope that will make things better my second go round. (call me a gluton for punishment) With the first wife, I had nothing in common with her. She was great in bed and at 22 that was love !!! Come to find, there were just as many other women out there that I had more in common with that were just as good in bed. Needless to say, the first one went down in flames !!!

My new wife of only one month is someone I've known for the better portion of my life and can honestly say is my best friend. We know just about everything about each other, have more in common than I could hope for, and we have the same goals in life. We both know where we want to be 5-10 years down the road and best of all... SHE IS A BENGALS FAN !!!!

Seriously though, having things in common and having the same wants and needs is huge in MY book. If her outlook is different from yours, it will be harder. Doable, but harder. This is just my two cents and my experiences.

The whole no-other-poon-for-the-rest-of-your-life should be small potatoes. You just have to do like Chris Rock says, "You got to recycle the p***y".

Hope that helped. I've been told I'm full of S**T, so who knows...

WHODEY !!!

[skyline]

I'd talk to her about the kid situation. That's something you really want to get settled before the marriage. If you don't think that you're ready for kids...well, then...you're not.

Marriage has been great for me so far. Yes, there are some downsides, but many more upsides from where I'm sitting.

Then again, I've only been married for a total of 1.5 years, so...take my opinion with a grain of salt

[redsfan2]

A 22 year old Marine marries a teenage girl who just graduated from high school. It's got DISASTER written all over it .... her friends try to tell her ... so do her parents and everyone else .... but she just won't listen. They all told her it wouldn't last, and they're probably right. I'll most likely end up and die on her some day. That was in 1972 by the way and we're still married. Not my fault to be sure ..... but a lot of hard work on her part. ( I'd have thrown me out the 2nd week ).

Things we have in common .... Pretty much like zero. Not music ... movies .... books .... activities .... different sense of humor Nothing .. Nada.

Why did I want to marry her ???? Just something about her ..... as corny as it sounds you'll know. Why did she want to marry me ???? Hell .... why do any of them want to marry ANY of us ????

When our kids were younger, I'd watch her in a store. She'd pick up a blouse or sweater ... kind of feel it like they do .... and then she'd put it down and go buy something for one of the kids. There is literally nothing that I would not do for her, and she's shown that she feels the same way about me.

Anybody can skip through the good times. But the bad times can really make you get closer. If you've got that bond with her ... then all the rest is details.

Every time she fusses about me doing something, I tell her it's her own dam fault ... They all told her not to marry me. If she'd listened to them then .... she wouldn't have to put up with me now. Besides ... I thought she liked me this way!

All the other guys wives tell their husbands " You're not the man I married " ..... Mine looks at me ... shakes her head and says you ain't changed a dam bit.

Oh Yeah this too .... things in common ... she's a Baptist from Virginia. I'm a Yankee Catholic. I honestly thought her Dad was going to shoot me.

If you are not SURE then don't do it cause when it's the real item you will KNOW.

Kids .... religion .... where you're going to live .... everything else .... You'll fight over for about the first 20 years or so and after that .... it's just funny and you laugh about it. .... it's too dam late by then anyway.

[BengalszoneBilly]

As a man who tomorrow signs his final papers in his 2nd divorce, without hesitation reccommend this..... Say "I Do!!"

The sooner in life you find out if marriage is or is not for you, the better! The ONLY way to do this is to...ya' ready? GET MARRIED!

All I hope for you Ox is that it works for you better than it has for me. Be brave. Do it! Even if it doesn't work out, you're still allowed to try again! That's better than the deal they give if you mess up your stinkin' driving record!

[Ox]

Thanks guys. Sometimes it all just seems surreal. Just yesterday it seemed I was sitting in a college bar living life with no inhibitions. Now I am paying the mortgage getting ready to get married!

Oh well, I guess it is just a natural progression. Thanks for the advice. I'll let ya know how it goes.

[kitared]

OX, communication is the key!! Be sure that you guys understand one another. Let her know how you feel about the kids, and the NFL ticket. You never know she may learn to love the game because you love it. My boyfriend lucked out and found a girl that knows almost as much as he does about football And tells him to turn it back to ESPN when he gets commercial changing channel happy!

As for the other 125Million other women out there, if you have a good one keep her!! You never know what issues, drama, diseases, baby-daddy drama they come with.

Stop being a bad boyfriend and be a good husband. Do things for her you know she would do for you. Show her you love her! I wish you two the best of luck!!

[The Big Orange]

I love being married...by the way your wedding day is my birthday. I'll be 36 just a vew days before our 16th wedding anniversary.

Nobody is ever fully ready for marriage, or kids for that matter. It's just life and you figure it out as you go. If the marriage is valuable enough to you both and you love each other enough, you sacrifice and work things out.

I've performed about a dozen marriages and done pre-marital counseling for all of them. No one knows what they are doing...it's part of the fun of it.