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Fox's Hench calls out Marvin and Chad (among others)


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Can't really argue with much of what he says here. We score 2 outta 10 people called out on this list also!



Suspect: Chad Ochocinco

Charge: noise pollution. Seriously, Chad needs to either say something interesting or mildly amusing or just shut the hell up. Wide receivers coming off seasons in which they averaged 10.2 yards per catch have nothing to tweet about. And McDonald's is probably hoping he stops bragging on Hard Knocks about how much he eats there. That's right, eat McDonald's every day and you can be a wide receiver who averages fewer yards per catch than 22 NFL tight ends.

Sentence: gag order until Chad is once again considered even a No. 2 fantasy wide receiver.


Suspect: Marvin Lewis

Charge: fraud. When the Ravens defense unilaterally won a Super Bowl despite the team's offense, coordinator Marvin Lewis was naturally hailed as a genius. Well, he's had six seasons now to live up to that billing and with each passing year it's becoming more and more obvious that the Ravens' success was based entirely on personnel. Lewis's four-year trend (11-5, 8-8, 7-9, 4-11-1) would have gotten any other coach fired by now, but he's lucky -- and unlucky -- to be employed by the penurious Bengals who could never imagine paying two head coaching salaries at once.

Sentence: Two more years coaching the Bengals.


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Fanslaughter? Slow Lerner?

Somebody give that man a rimshot.

Suspect: Cleveland Browns

Charge: negligent fanslaughter. At what point will organizations realize that the Bill Belichick coaching tree begins and ends with Belichick? Notre Dame has lost 15 games the last two seasons under Charlie Weis. Josh McDaniels has tripped a land mine in Denver. Eric Mangini got canned by the Jets after going 23-25 in three seasons. Romeo Crennel went 24-40 in four lamentable seasons with the Browns. But leave it to the Browns to be the slowest learners (slowest Lerners?). Despite the major disappointment that was the Crennel Era, owner Randy Lerner has gone back to the tree and installed Mangini as his new coach. How's it looking? Well, with Week 1 fast approaching the Browns still have two quarterbacks vying for the starting job, which means, of course, they have no quarterback. So expect another very long season in a division that features studs Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Flacco and Carson Palmer.

Sentence: 3-13 with a Week 11 loss at Detroit.

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These writers always forget that Cincinnati isn't the same as the rest of the NFL. Sure, Marvin's slightly under 0.500 record probably won't keep you into your 6th year in most places, but for the Bengals that's a raging success. He is correct, however, in realizing that Mikey's barely willing to pay one coach, let alone two.

But to give Mikey some credit, he's cheap but also loyal (often to a fault, unfortunately). In this case, loyalty might mean not blaming Marvin for the clusterfudge that was the 2006-2008 devolution. After all, Marvin didn't assemble a fudged up offensive line. He didn't assimilate a ton of cancerous personalities that have only now been mostly purged - or Redeemed, in the case of Slim. Marvin's also not responsible for weird crap like Brad St. Choke blowing a snap in the Broncos game (or two, if you blame him for Shane's duck hook).

I do blame Marvin for not finding a DC worth a damn until Zimmer fell in his lap (and as I mentioned a while back, thank your stars that Mike Vick's Dogs got Zimmer canned from the Falcons). But we have him now, and the defense is on track and looking fearsome nasty.

So what's Marvin's legacy so far? He dragged the Bengals from complete joke in every facet to at least a professional coaching staff, and he's done at least a better job than his predecessors of fighting the good fight on personnel decisions. I think he's a good motivator. I think he's a good manager. He's learned how to handle Chad, and that's PhD in psychology level material.

But I do think he was right place/right time in 2000 with the Ravens - I think the writer is correct in stripping his "defensive genius" label. Any DC in the league would have had an all-world D with those personnel.

Putting that all together, I think Marvin's a good head coach, and I think Mikey realizes that. He's going nowhere if he doesn't want to, unless things take an unexpected turn.

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