Giant Steps

[HairOnFire]

The New York Giants: The Cincinnati Bengals of the future

by Jessica Isner, July 13, 2009 – 8:58 pm

There’s a sizable number of NFL teams that seem to be abundantly flowing with character issues over the past few years. (The Cincinnati Bengals, for instance, come to mind.)

But the Bengals were so 2007. The Giants seem to have taken their place.

No, Tom Coughlin’s crew hasn’t embarked upon a record-setting slew of arrests while completely and utterly failing to perform on the field. But lately, the Giants are making big news for big, bad reasons.

The Plaxico Burress saga is months old at this point, although it’s still just as worrisome as it was last November. One of the faces of the franchise — the guy who hauled in the winning touchdown in what was one of the greatest Super Bowl upsets of all time — faced a suspension for accidentally shooting himself with a gun he happened to be toting during a night out on the New York club scene. Now, he may not play in 2009, but the jury’s still out.

Meanwhile, while he and Roger Goodell deal with the immediate future, another Giant goes and gets himself suspended for domestic abuse.

Granted, this case is a little bit different because the Giants were fully aware of a domestic battery charge levied against Michael Boley when they signed him in May. But still — getting slapped with a one-game suspension before you’ve even played your first game for a new team is quite a way to make a first impression. The linebacker allegedly threw his wife Chantelle into a wall and a kitchen cabinet during a fight.

What’s even more troublesome is the fact that Giants general manager Jerry Reese seems to be brushing off the incident, telling ESPN.com that it was an issue that “harmed the reputation of a pretty good [person].”

Isolated incident, maybe. But something that should be dismissed and accompanied by a glowing character assessment? Really? Just because the guy has done some charity work?

Everyone raved about Goodell’s response to Donte’ Stallworth’s drunk driving homicide. They said the commish took a stand where one was needed and, as a result, strengthened the character of the entire league.

So here’s a question: What does this say about the character of the Giants?

[Kazkal]

So they have 2 badguys and they take our spot? what about Steelers,Jaguars & Buccaneers since 2007 they've seen to have alot more cases then anyone else.

[ArmyBengal]

I made a post in the smack forum a while back about how since the end of the 2007 season that almost 3/4's of the teams in the league have had as many or MORE arrests than the Bengals have. The Patriots were one of the ones that had MORE. I also pointed out that I think the Bengals got so much exposure about it due to the fact they had so many in such a short period of time that directly affected the starters or at least contributors of the team. Other teams spaced out their arrests so it didn't seem so drastic. Even now you get clowns that won't acknowledge the Bengals are in the lower 1/4 of the league in discipline problems.

Even if we start winning again, there will be some dumb ass that will bring that up...

[HairOnFire]

I made a post in the smack forum a while back about how since the end of the 2007 season that almost 3/4's of the teams in the league have had as many or MORE arrests than the Bengals have. The Patriots were one of the ones that had MORE.

Exactly. In fact, the sole reason I posted the article was the writers remark about the Bengals poor reputation being...."so 2007"

Maybe they're finally shedding the label, ehh?

BTW, the article was obviously written with a New York state of mind, as was nearly every posted response from readers. I didn't bother including them with the article, but there were dozens of them and they all pointed to the Patriots as the NFL's newest poster boys for criminal behavior.

[ArmyBengal]

I made a post in the smack forum a while back about how since the end of the 2007 season that almost 3/4's of the teams in the league have had as many or MORE arrests than the Bengals have. The Patriots were one of the ones that had MORE.

Exactly. In fact, the sole reason I posted the article was the writers remark about the Bengals poor reputation being...."so 2007"

Maybe they're finally shedding the label, ehh?

BTW, the article was obviously written with a New York state of mind, as was nearly every posted response from readers. I didn't bother including them with the article, but there were dozens of them and they all pointed to the Patriots as the NFL's newest poster boys for criminal behavior.

Very nice indeed. All things in time they say, but I hold tight to the thought of there always being one ass hole out there.

WhosTomBrady just happens to be one we have here on our very own forum...

[COB]

If Jessica Isner thinks we're giving up the title without a fight, she's got another thing coming.

Plaxico as public enemy number one? Let's compare his gun crime with Cheech's.

Cheech drew down on some dude down in Florida, and the only thing that kept him from shooting the guy was the plainclothes cop who drew his own gun and screamed at Henry to drop it. Gunplay with cops? That s**t's straight up gangster.

Plaxico? He's posing at a club, trying to grope his own gun so everyone can see that he's packing, and he shoots himself in the leg. Not very gangster at all. Actually, really un-gangster like.

The other rap on Plax is that he's not a good citizen. Late for meetings, doesn't pay his bills on time, etc. Oooohhh, so scary. Cheech picks fights, supplies female minors with liquor and hotel rooms, drives drunk with his suspended teammates in the car, and just generally makes Plax look like a cub scout.

And that domestic battery charge against Michael Boley, whoever he is, for pushing his wife? That's nothing. Our supplemental draft retard didn't like the way his neighbor asked him to stop arguing with another neighbor, so he punched her in the face with sufficient force to render her unconscious. That's right, a one punch knockout. Just because she asked him to stop arguing with another neighbor. She didn't get the neighborhood memo that said, "Do not ask Ahmad Brooks to stop arguing with a neighbor, because he doesn't play for the p***y New York Giants, thus he won't just gently push you. He plays for the Bengals, which means he'll blast you in the face with a sucker punch you'll never see coming."

Around this time another mentally unstable Bengals linebacker, on his umpteenth suspension, delivered the same sucker punch to some Browns fan at the Kalahari Water Park in Sandusky. Along with all the signs about not running on the wet concrete, no horseplay, etc., that dude apparently didn't read the warning sign that said, "Do not approach any large black men swilling down liquor in the waterpark, because it might not be a New York Giant, it might be a deranged alcholic Cincinnati Bengal who like to punch regular people in the face."

Hey Jessica Isner, you know where you can go to be safe from the New York Giants? Just about anywhere, because they're naturally pretty docile and have been domesticated for decades. But Jessica Isner, do you know where you can go to be safe from the Cincinnati Bengals? I know what you're thinking Jessica, you're thinking, "well, if nowhere else, I'll at least be safe sitting on the john taking a giant crap." Guess what? You're wrong. We have a sasquatch who went drunk-driving one night, plowed his car through some guy's wall and blew him right off the can.

That's right, Jessica Isner, there's no place to hide from the Cincinnati Bengals. So please rethink your hypothesis that the Giants are the new bad boys of the NFL. Your flimsy examples of the Giants' criminality hold up against rebuttal evidence about as well as law-abiding citizens hold up during an encounter with a free-range Cincinnati Bengal.

Not well, with an emergency room in the near future.

[ArmyBengal]

If Jessica Isner thinks we're giving up the title without a fight, she's got another thing coming.

Plaxico as public enemy number one? Let's compare his gun crime with Cheech's.

Cheech drew down on some dude down in Florida, and the only thing that kept him from shooting the guy was the plainclothes cop who drew his own gun and screamed at Henry to drop it. Gunplay with cops? That s**t's straight up gangster.

Plaxico? He's posing at a club, trying to grope his own gun so everyone can see that he's packing, and he shoots himself in the leg. Not very gangster at all. Actually, really un-gangster like.

The other rap on Plax is that he's not a good citizen. Late for meetings, doesn't pay his bills on time, etc. Oooohhh, so scary. Cheech picks fights, supplies female minors with liquor and hotel rooms, drives drunk with his suspended teammates in the car, and just generally makes Plax look like a cub scout.

And that domestic battery charge against Michael Boley, whoever he is, for pushing his wife? That's nothing. Our supplemental draft retard didn't like the way his neighbor asked him to stop arguing with another neighbor, so he punched her in the face with sufficient force to render her unconscious. That's right, a one punch knockout. Just because she asked him to stop arguing with another neighbor. She didn't get the neighborhood memo that said, "Do not ask Ahmad Brooks to stop arguing with a neighbor, because he doesn't play for the p***y New York Giants, thus he won't just gently push you. He plays for the Bengals, which means he'll blast you in the face with a sucker punch you'll never see coming."

Around this time another mentally unstable Bengals linebacker, on his umpteenth suspension, delivered the same sucker punch to some Browns fan at the Kalahari Water Park in Sandusky. Along with all the signs about not running on the wet concrete, no horseplay, etc., that dude apparently didn't read the warning sign that said, "Do not approach any large black men swilling down liquor in the waterpark, because it might not be a New York Giant, it might be a deranged alcholic Cincinnati Bengal who like to punch regular people in the face."

Hey Jessica Isner, you know where you can go to be safe from the New York Giants? Just about anywhere, because they're naturally pretty docile and have been domesticated for decades. But Jessica Isner, do you know where you can go to be safe from the Cincinnati Bengals? I know what you're thinking Jessica, you're thinking, "well, if nowhere else, I'll at least be safe sitting on the john taking a giant crap." Guess what? You're wrong. We have a sasquatch who went drunk-driving one night, plowed his car through some guy's wall and blew him right off the can.

That's right, Jessica Isner, there's no place to hide from the Cincinnati Bengals. So please rethink your hypothesis that the Giants are the new bad boys of the NFL. Your flimsy examples of the Giants' criminality hold up against rebuttal evidence about as well as law-abiding citizens hold up during an encounter with a free-range Cincinnati Bengal.

Not well, with an emergency room in the near future.

No more posts are necessary for the 2009 post of the year award. I'd like to go ahead and make the award for this gem !!!

In tears reading that sh*t COB !!!

[HairOnFire]

I know what you're thinking Jessica, you're thinking, "well, if nowhere else, I'll at least be safe sitting on the john taking a giant crap." Guess what? You're wrong. We have a sasquatch who went drunk-driving one night, plowed his car through some guy's wall and blew him right off the can.

Thereby giving a whole new meaning to the advertising slogan...."Messing with sasquatch."

[COB]

...."Messing with sasquatch."

I love those ads. The one where they shake up a can of pop, sasquatch sprays it all over himself, then he tips their golf cart over, is comedy gold. Sasquatch and talking baby ads make life worth living.