EMMITT"S GREATEST HITS

[DesperateDerelict]

As someone who appreciates the correct usage of the English language, I am increasingly appalled by some of the ex-player TV analysts now employed as talking heads. Walter Cheripinski - one of the best NFL analysts on the net IMHO - has been slamming Emmitt Smith (a graduate of "the U") all year. He compiled some of the best of Smith's fractured verbage, as well as commentary. In a word...BRILLIANT!!!

Here's the link: EMMITT SPEAKS (SPOKES?)

The actual article, due to the number of examples cited, is way too long to include here, so Here's a little piece of the article:

Emmitt's Greatest Hits

My favorite Emmitt quotes. I had trouble deciding which ones to put here. I love them all.

1. "Don't worry about the game you just won or the team that we just blew out... uhhh... blown... blown out... Let's think about what we need to do going forward, and they had... blown out. (Commentary: Don't believe he actually said this? I don't either. But check out EMMITTS BLUNDER as seen on Jimmy Kimmel Live.)

2. "Defensively, they're solid. They have solid defenses." (Commentary: From the redundancy department of the department of redundancy.)

3. "You hear Andy Reid going online and say, Donovan McNabb is my starting quarterback." (Commentary: It appears as though Emmitt is confused between "online" and "on the line." Does this mean Emmitt uses America On The Line Instant Messenger to chat with his friends?)

4. "Now the Colts are probably playing with more confidence than they ever have played since they been with the Indianapolis Colts." (Commentary: Right... That makes a lot of sense. As opposed to the Colts playing with more confidence than they ever have since being with the Jacksonville Jaguars.)

5. "They need to right the score to get revenge." (Commentary: Right the ship, right the score. Tomato, tomahto.)

6. "This will get you completely blowed out." (Commentary: Blowed? What will get you blowed? Turning it over a lot, or bringing flowers on a date?)

7. "They did a good job flying around the football field and carowzing the football carrier." (Commentary: Carowzing, eh? Guess Emmitt's old professors looked the other way when he used this word in his essays.)

8. "Brady will put up monster numbers because he can throw." (Commentary: Seriously, where else can you get this sort of analysis?)

9. "You cannot change the stripes of a leopard." (Commentary: Now, Emmitt, repeat after me. A cow says moooo...)

10. "The hill represent another rushing title this year for the season. For others watching this thing who've worked out on hills, this is a opportunity to build strength within." (Commentary: What... the... hell... is Emmitt talking about? First of all, again with the repetition. Rushing title this year for the season? And I love how Emmitt's appealing to the working-out-on-hills demographic because those people never get any love.)

11. "...Go to Arizona, sharp as a whistle, and do some finishing touches, so we can go down in the Super Bowl and play our best football of the whole entire season."(Commentary: Yeah, watch out for those sharp whistles - they can be really pointy.)

12. "The strength of the Patriots, their offense, got... DEBACLED." (Commentary: I was 99 percent sure Debacled wasn't a word, but I made sure in Microsoft Word. I typed it in, but instead of placing a red line below it, Microsoft Word just laughed at me.)

EXTRA CREDIT: "That can be a swing their way eventually. I just hate to be the team that they winned it against." (Commentary: Let's see... butcher the English language, add an article where you don't need one and make up a word called "winned." Just another day in the life of Emmitt.)

[HoosierCat]

Yeah, the "debacled" one cracked me up. However, I kind of like it. It's got, as Colbert might say, "wordiness."

[Monte]

I couldn't read 'em all ... made my head hurt ...

A coupla faves, though:

"I think it's his self-confidence in himself that make him so confident when it get down into the crunch time."

"They both can return kicks and punt return guys."

I wants a job on ESPN ...'cuz I has skills

[DC_Bengals_Fan]

I only nitpick since due to the irony...Emmitt didn't go to the 'U'. He was a UF guy.

[DesperateDerelict]

I only nitpick since due to the irony...Emmitt didn't go to the 'U'. He was a UF guy.

My bad !!

You say 'tomato'; I say 'tomahto'

He wasn't an English major, was he???

[theWarden86]

9. "You cannot change the stripes of a leopard." (Commentary: Now, Emmitt, repeat after me. A cow says moooo...)

Priceless.

One of my personal favorite quotes by a current player was when Ed Reed referred to his contract extension as, "a blessing in da sky!" WTF?

Yes Ed, it is. I'm sure Mike Tyson wishes he could "take his hand off to you."

[ckj414]

My favorite Emmitt quote is: 'If the Giants win today [in the NFC Championship Game], they could possibly go on to the Super Bowl.'

[Pidge]

As a graduate from Suntan U myself, I can safely say that that turd did not attend The U. He'd be taunted were he to ever set foot in Coral Gables.

I can make no excuses for Mr. Reed, however. I never did see him in any of my classes so I can only imagine that student athletes are more athletes than students. Say it ain't so.

[Stripes]

I think Eli Manning has been given the rice of passage.

:lmao:

[Horsemen]

Eh Madden is still the worst in history