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TOP 42 THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN SURFING THE INTERNET


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1. Everything is true on the Internet

2. Everyone is a celebrity on the Internet

3. The future of the human race is the Internet

4. The Internet defines reality

5. The Internet is where one can rediscover their lost memories

6. If it's not on Bengalszone.com, it isn't really important

7. Everything you need to know about the Bengals is on the Internet

8. If it doesn't work, it's on the Internet

9. Terrorists give/receive orders to commit crimes against humanity over the Internet

10. Bengalszone keeps tabs on you over the Internet

11. You can plan your own funeral on the Internet

12. You can read about your own funeral on the Internet

13. You can read about your wife's affair on the Internet (no, really!)

14. You can re-write history on the Internet

15. You can find variations of reality on the Internet

16. The Internet proves there are infinite continuums of reality

17. You can arrange enlarging your male member via the Internet (handy information for Steeler fans!)

18. You can pick up Bengals Cheerleaders via the Internet

19. Internet or not, it's all about The Bengals

20. Not everyone is cut out to be a hero, but everyone has a right to be one the Internet

21. The Internet and computers provide instant gratification

22. When it comes to media access, you are a nobody even if you own the Bengalszone website (right B24?)

23. On the Internet, you can be whomever you want to be (BTW, I'm an International Playboy B)

24. You can rent an apartment in Barcelona Spain, with "Spain" via the Internet (is it 4:20 yet?)

25. Everything is legitimate on the Internet, and everything on the Internet is legitimate

26. You can mail-order a wife over the Internet

27. You can save megabucks on Bengals tickets and jerseys by shopping on the Internet

28. You can find out someone's true identity on the Internet

29. You can find what you want for free on the Internet

30. You can get divorced on the Internet

31. You can have a loved one drown in the bathbub while you endlessly porno-surf the Internet

32. The Internet, like crack cocaine, can be all-consuming (tell me something I don't know!)

33. You can make up and post outlandish conspiracy theories on the Internet

34. You can diagnose your own medical condition on the Internet

35. You can find maps of critical infrastructure on the Internet

36. The Truth comes to light on the Internet

37. Through the Internet you can achieve the status of wealthy NFL team owner

38. Once an internet celebrity, you need to make a maximum effort to entrench yourself deeper each day (this is why we don't see much of Kirkendall.)

39. You don't have to wait long when you get something wrong on a web site before someone (like HairOnFire) brings it to your attention

40. You can see pictures of imminent destruction on the Internet

41. You can use the Internet to track the movements of all wide receivers and the defensive backs covering them

42. The Internet is a breeding ground for Conspiracy Theories

Regarding the fact that you can actually obtain information from the internet other than pornography, remember you must then determine

whether what you have read on the internet is really true. The big difference is that with pornography, you don't give a s**t if the information you are getting is correct or not. :lol:

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