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Come up with your funniest "Where's Odell?" Story


Spor_tees

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Here is a chance to have a little fun. With PFT having it's own rumors about where Odell is, let's have some fun by coming up with the most hillarious story you can make up about where Odell has been.

I heard Odell was down in Tijuana "vacationing" and was arrested when local authorities broke up an illegal Donkey sex show. He was mistaken as a Cuban and could not show proof of American citizenship. He was not allowed to return to the U.S. across the border. After several phone calls to Marvin, Marvin finally told Odell that he would not come down and get him, because he had dealt with the media enough times about arrest of his players and just couldn't handle explaining to them how his middle linebacker was arrested during the climax scene of a Debbie does Donkey show!

B)

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Here's one,

Odell has been recently living it up in Georgia. After a late night out with a familiar looking guy calling himself "Ron Mexico" Odell suddenly wakes up the next morning with an unbelievable fire in his pants. He is currently at the Valtrex center seeking immediate treatment.

Oh, and anyone coming into contact with this "Ron Mexico" please contact the local authorities. Everyone is in danger of catching this pandemic, except for wide recievers. For some reason, they can't catch anything from "Ron Mexico" :lol:

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O'dell has been very busy making his own line of action figures... This action packed toy will dive into your pocket and slam your loose change...most specifically a quarter...back into the ground.

He will do this enough times that your loose change will lose all common sense and hop on a motorcycle without a helmet. The "mini O'dell" is sold in a stores near you. Dude you gotta get an O'dell!!!

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Odell decided to take a vacation to Pittsburgh & blow up heinz stadium. :lol:

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Odell can be caught this summer in movie theatres doing the following:

Teamed up with Special Agent Ethan Hawk to hunt down pesky Ravens in 'Mission Impossible 3'

Flying along side Superman to rid Pittsburgh of all of it's kryponite laced into the terrible towels in 'Superman Returns'

On deck with Captain Jack Sparrow as they battle Viking ships in 'Pirates of the Caribbean'

With Vince Vaugh and Jennifer Aniston as they bust through Chicago's offensive line in 'The Break Up'

and finally

Passing Winslow and Roadrashburger as they sit on the side of the road with their wrecked motorcycles in 'Cars'

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Odell has been planning his marriage to Elton John, and PFT does in fact claim that he has AIDS.

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I've heard two substantial, but unconfirmed, rumors...

1) Odell has secretly taken control of PFT so he can dish out as much trash talking on his teammates as possible without fear of retribution.

2) Odell has secluded himself in a top secret training facility to work out with his new personal trainer, mentor, and personal hero - OFFICE LINEBACKER TERRY TATE!

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Odel was on vacation and driving along a street when...............

THUD!!!

He ran over some idiot riding his motorcycle in Pittsburgh without a helmet ....

Next thing you know the ugliest face he has ever seen is sticking through his windshield like a deer mounted on your wall after hunting season.

Odel quickly got his girlfriend to say that she was driving.

That is what he is in trouble for.

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Odel was on vacation and driving along a street when...............

THUD!!!

He ran over some idiot riding his motorcycle in Pittsburgh without a helmet ....

Next thing you know the ugliest face he has ever seen is sticking through his windshield like a deer mounted on your wall after hunting season.

Odel quickly got his girlfriend to say that she was driving.

That is what he is in trouble for.

Dude that is kinda sick! Odell is dating an 80 year old white woman? :blink:

:huh:

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Thurman misses another practice.

(Associated Press) AP - 07/05/06

By Paul Myfinger, Staffwriter

Marvin Lewis announced this morning that star linebacker Odell Thurman missed this mornings practice, and may miss all practices held this week, due to demands placed upon the young player by his Christian missionary work. Thurman's whereabouts were finally revealed earlier in the week when an unrelated CBS news story included photos of Thurman feeding crab cakes and blueberry pancakes to starving babies in Darfur.

Coach Lewis told reporters that he was proud of his young player and unconcerned about his repeated absence from the voluntary and informal practices. "He knows his role and he knows the scheme. We'd love to have him here right now, but we respect what he's doing and we know when the time comes he'll come back in time to join his fellow players in whatever crime spree they happen to be on at that given moment."

AP/Worldnet

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Odel was on vacation and driving along a street when...............

THUD!!!

He ran over some idiot riding his motorcycle in Pittsburgh without a helmet ....

Next thing you know the ugliest face he has ever seen is sticking through his windshield like a deer mounted on your wall after hunting season.

Odel quickly got his girlfriend to say that she was driving.

That is what he is in trouble for.

Dude that is kinda sick! Odell is dating an 80 year old white woman? :blink:

:huh:

Odel's got it like that.--She makes him cookies then she melts the choocolate.

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I could lose my security clearance for this, but I feel for the greater good, you should all know this...

Odell is actually a cyborg !!! He was created for one thing... Seek and destroy missions... Mike Brown was aware of this and figured the best way to try to assist in not blowing his true purpose was to make him a middle linebacker... Currently, Odell was sent back in time (as well all know, cyborgs do well with time travel) to track down Osama Bin Laden's parents prior to conceiving Osama and KILL THEM !!! Mike Brown made the suggestion to the government that since Bush has not been able to find Osama and he continues to be a threat, why not send Odell back in time to crush all the Bin Laden's ?? The government agreed and Odell was sent back in time. From what I've heard, and of course the recent Osama video tapes confirm, Odell has yet to find and kill his parents, but it should be a foregone conclusion Odell will not fail in his mission and return to the Bengals camp triumphant. Of course we all know he will not lose a step because they can just place the playbook on a chip and insert it directly in his cyborg brain, so this is really not an issue. Please keep this to present company or Odell may show up at YOUR doorstep !!!

WHODEY !!!

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From what I hear he has been spending all of his time at Great American Ballpark learning how to throw a knuckle ball. He plans on trying out for the Red's bullpen :bag: , and if need be, become the unofficial thug of the team in case there is ever a bench clearing brawl he can rush the mound and tackle the other team's pitcher. :eek:

:boxing:

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Coach Lewis told reporters that he was proud of his young player and unconcerned about his repeated absence from the voluntary and informal practices. "He knows his role and he knows the scheme. We'd love to have him here right now, but we respect what he's doing and we know when the time comes he'll come back in time to join his fellow players in whatever crime spree they happen to be on at that given moment."

:lmao:

Is that really a direct Marvin Lewis quote?

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I've got it!!! :sure:

Odell is taking graduate classes in "sociology" (his major) to help Marvin deal with some of the teams "problem children"

Odell is going to be a mentor and peer counselor for some of the other players -- so he needed the extra classes.

Either that or he's learning to brew beer in his room so Henry, Nicholson and Rucker don't have to go out and take the chance on gettin in trouble again. :P

I heard that Odell was having trouble with the Agronomy class, so he won't be growing anything for the "guys". :lol:

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Anyone like my new sig :P ?

I'd slow it down just a little so you can see the scenes longer...but pretty cool...maybe put a scene with a target scope panning onto Ben Worthlessburger on there too and that would be awesome...if you could put a thing on there where it looked like Worthlessberger's face blew up then melted back together like that evil cyborg that would be even more sweet!

:lmao:

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As mentioned in an earlier thread, Odell Thurman is out fighting crime wearing a black and orange lycra bodysuit in Over the Rhine. You wouldn't recognize him because he wears a small tiger mask that barely covers his eyes yet alone his face. Nor would you make the connection between his name, Odell Thurman, and his super hero id, "The Thurmanator". When last he left Paul Brown stadium, he was heard to be saying "Honey, where's my super suit?". This is the only clue we have to his secret identity! Rumors of suspension are due to him beins suspected of using steriods due to his mutant genetics.

Leaping offensive lines in a single bound!

Flying to the quarterback!

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Odell has undertaken the Quest for the Holy Grail. He has been spotted in Rome wearing a toga and muttering to himself in Aramaic. Recently Odell was fished out of the London sewers by sanitation workers after mistaking a large sewer pipe for the 12 century sarcophogus of Richard the Lionhearted.

Odell has been making vaious trips to Lebanon and he has rented Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 57 times according to Blockbuster.

According to a camel-salesperson in Egypt a person matching Odell's description recent returned a "slighty used" dromedary painted with orange and black stripes. Odell has been growing his beard out and has been getting confused with Ricky Williams during a recent trip to Bangalore.

What all this means to Bengal fans is unclear though once a person gets bit by the Grail bug it usually dominates the rest of their life.

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