Anatomy of the Steeler Fan Psyche

[cincyhokie]

You Will Suffer Humiliation When The Sports Team From

My Area Defeats The Sports Team From Your Area

As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming

up this weekend. I'm sure you are as excited for it as

I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite

some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but

rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the

sports team from my area defeats the sports team from

your area.

On numerous occasions, you have expressed the

conviction that your area's sports team will be

victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you

make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and

disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter.

"What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you

believe that your sports team could beat my sports

team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.

When the sporting contest begins, the players on your

team will be treated as though they are

inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my

team to accumulate more points than yours. There are

many reasons for this, starting with the inferior

physical attributes of the players representing your

area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of

the qualities that the players on the team from your

area lack. The players representing my area, on the

other hand, have these traits in abundance.

I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on

the team from your area were sexually attracted to

members of their own gender. That is how ineffective

they are on the field of battle.

Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of

colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's

colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they

appear to have been chosen by someone who is

colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether.

The colors for my team, on the other hand, are

aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one

another. They are a superior color combination in

every way.

While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us

compare the respective facilities in which our teams

play. While my team's edifice is blessed with

architectural splendor and the most modern of

amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in

which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I

speak, for I once attended a game between our

respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the

experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable

that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it

impossible for me to get to your area to attend the

game.

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise

representing my area is superior, look no further than

the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the

supporters of the team from my region more spirited,

but they are also more intelligent and of finer

breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In

addition, the female supporters of the team from my

area possess more attractive countenances and figures

than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have

observed could make a living by posing for pictures

for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for

your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do

so.

One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your

area is the fact that only people in your immediate

area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast,

the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection

in individuals who live in many other geographic

locations.

To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story:

Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country

far away from my own, and I saw many individuals

wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my

team. I approached one such individual and asked him

if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining

that he simply liked the team from my area and had for

many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I

saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the

insignia of your team.

Do you still doubt that the team from your area is

inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams'

respective histories. In the past, we have defeated

you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were

times when your team beat my team, but those were

lucky flukes.

The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no

matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many

foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team

from your area, your team will be defeated. We will

win and you will lose. This is your fate.

Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the

designated hour.

[Ox]

That my friend is quality posting.

[cincyhokie]

That my friend is quality posting.

I liked it.

You know, if the Bengals DO win Sunday...the excuse is just going to be "we gave them the game". The Steelers fans never think they lose...instead they give games away. Why? No team is as righteous as the Steelers.