Angry Lions fan has tickets to December 18th game.

[Fire Millen]

I have 2 tickets to the December 18th Lions-Bengals game. I have already tried to sell them for a reasonable and very fair price. I then tried to give them away, but people kept making excuses. I desperately want to go this game because the Lions fans are planning to wear orange. Unfortunately, I have business matters to attend to that weekend and I can not go to the game.

Anyways, as my silent protest against Ford and Millen, I am giving away my tickets for FREE to Bengals fans. I will check back to this thread in a couple days and I'll choose two random, yet interesting, posts and hook you guys up each with *1* ticket, meaning that you'll be sitting together. The only thing I ask for is that you promise to wear either a Bengals jersey/orange shirt or a Fire Millen t-shirt.

Please do not make begging posts like "OMG PLEASE GIMME TICKETS". Ya know, make then funny.

Recap for those who are too lazy to read the post: Make a satirical and funny post on how much the Lions suck balls and if I like it, I'll hook you up with a Bengals-Lions ticket as long as you wear orange to the game.

You may begin.

[Spain]

Im in Spain so count me out but thanks, this orange out thing is growing! I think you should give them to dont push me and Bengals bax! That would be a good combo. That leads me to the real ? which two posrters would you like to see seating together at a game Bangalodom?

[walzav29]

Happy Bengals Fan Wants Them!

I am a Bengal fan born in Detroit. I will take them bad boys. I have to admit, that I take a bit of joy watching the Lion-fans go through the same torture that I have had to endure for 15 straight years. I am amazed at the retardation of Matt Millen and his complete lack of direction. I listen to 1130 AM, and it just makes me relieved that God sent a savior to Cincinnati in the form of Black Jesus Marvin Lewis. I have told many Lion fans in the cubicles next to me that they should believe in Marvin as the true football Mesiah, but they are skeptics, and that is why the Lions are a cursed people. I will be wearing my Bengal gear, and my brother would even wear his Jeff Blake jersey. I know you guys need a Gm/Coach and a severe house cleaning. Like Marvin getting rid of Dillon and Spikes. Lewis wouldn't put up with that Bly Bull$h!T! I will take the tickets and I will do my best to make Millen weep!

[GROIIIDayton]

I would be happy to take a ticket. I will pay you something for them even. I am going to Detroit to buy tickets no matter what. I am pretty sure they will be dirt cheap. I think that Detroit just needs to get rid of Millen and and get an o-line. I don't think Harrington is that bad just never got a chance. If you have a line that makes you watch the rush then it is hard to find recievers down field. I mean Matt Millen came out of the booth to work in an NFL front office. In past years this sounded like a bungles move so I know how you feel. I will fold up a sign put it down my pants that says "FIRE MATT MILLEN"(along with a few beers) and at the end of the game when the Bengals have the game locked up I will run around the stadium holding up the sign until I get kicked out. It will be great.

[Fire Millen]

I see one decent reply. Dont you people want free tickets. Post something damnit.

[Kazkal]

I would take em but I live in oregon only 2 fans from detriot on this bored that i've seen

[fisch11]

I'm a broke college student and a die hard Bengals fan living in northern Ohio, aka Browns Central, aka hell. The Lions and the entire organization is so terrible right now that I think Eminem and random people out of 8 mile could form and manage a better team. Harrington and Garcia are more like Ace and Gary the Imbiguously Gay Duo, Lions receivers can't catch a Michigan cold, and their fans are contemplating on upgrading to Houston Texan fans. At least, they will have somebody exciting to watch next year. Who-Dey shirt is ironed and starched, spent my savings filling my gas tank, and I just e-mailed a template to my ink artist……”Fire Millen.”….right across the chest.

Lions suck. Who-Dey.

[spazz70]

just a little humor, and I am a die WHO-DEY die hard

Little David is in the 5th grade. Yesterday morning when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living, all the typical answers came up: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

The teacher noticed that little David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so she asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and do it with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, red faced. "He plays for the Detroit Lions, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

in case u didn't like the last one

Detroit Lions News Flash

Lions football practice was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours.

One of the players, while on his way to the locker room happened to look down and noticed a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Marty Mornhinweg immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate.

After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the goal line. Practice was resumed when FBI Special Agents decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

[walzav29]

OK. I'll be a dancin' monkey!

I've read that the Lion's are going to honor their great tradition and put a bronze statue of Wayne Fontes in front of Ford Field.

The best passer in Detroit for the last 40 years is the Crackhead who sleeps outside of Ford Field. He holds the record for the most consecutive completed pipe passing's without a drop. 7.(4 were to Charles Rogers) No Lion QB comes close.

Matt Millen's new Offensive coordinator will be long time friend. Barney Rubble.

It is speculated that Matt Millen is really focusing on his off-season planning. He was seen buying the 52 pack of crayolas.

Despite all of their difference's, Garcia and Joey have 2 things in common. Leather hat's with spikes on top and nipple rings.

Insiders have said that the Lions gameplan by writing down the moves that they see from an electric football game. They even painted their starters #'s on the little figures to make it more "intense".

In an attempt to develope the Lion's youth, Millen has signed Greg Landry.

I will Lion Hate, and show Bengal love. Who Dey!

[lando griffin]

“With the 1st pick of the 2003 NFL Draft the Cincinnati Bengals select Carson Palmer, QB USC.” Hooray, the Bengals got the future best quarterback of all time. “With the 2nd pick of the 2003 the NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select Charles Rogers, WR Michigan State.” Hooray, the Lions got some crackhead bum who either gets substance abuse suspensions or gets hurt so he doesn’t have to play. That may be the biggest disparity between a 1st and 2nd pick ever. Who to blame? Mike Millen, of course.

Now I feel the pain of Detroit, I am a Bengals fan who can only vaguely remember our glory days of the late 80’s. The rest of my life has been mired in the Bungles. I am a college student who lives in Yinzville, USA where I’ve had to deal with s**t from Stillers fans for the past four years. I feel your pain when you look at the structure of your organization and see a GM like Millen, and then you look at the Bengals and see Marvin (as others have crowned him our “Black Jesus”) making all personnel decisions at his own disposal and turning water into wine at various wedding receptions around the Tri-State. I remember from maybe 5-1 B.M. (before Marvin) wishing someone would assassinate Mike Brown for not trying to put a competitive team on the field. I feel your pain of looking around at your offense with first round picks abounding (R. Williams, M. Williams, C. Rogers, J. Harrington, K. Jones) and wonder why it cannot function. You look at the Bengals stars and search for the same first round picks but they are few and far between (C. Johnson 2nd round, T. J. Houshmanzadeh 7th round, R. Johnson 4th round, C. Henry 3rd round). Why are they soooo good you proclaim??

Well, we have Jesus, and, well, you have Millen.

Of course, Cincinnati fans do deserve this good karma we’ve been experiencing for the last 3 years a little more than Detroit. At least you had the glory days of Barry Sanders, Hermann Moore, and Scott Mitchell during the 90’s. We had Big Daddy Wilkinson, Klingler, Reinard, Ki-Jana, and that fag Pickens, along with a healthy dose of leftover quarterbacks like Neil O’Donnell, Jeff Blake, and, wait a second, Scott Mitchell! Maybe there’s even more in common between us than we thought!

Anyway, the only thing that will bring back some semblance of those days is Mr. Ford chucking Millen out the door. If this does not happen, there is really only one credible, worthwhile yet ironic option for the Lions to take to help ease Detroit’s suffering. Sell the team, send the proceeds to GM, and let them pay off the UAW healthcare expenses they have so they can renegotiate a new union contract. This will let them get their heads above the water and allow them to once again try and compete with foreign car manufacturers and prevent Detroit from collapsing.

But I doubt that will happen, so I humbly request those two tickets you have so generously offered. I will show up my with my Bengal Tiger pride, fully decked out in my Bengals gear, and scream bloody murder until Detroit decides to run this Millen tyrant out of town. God Bless Detroit!

[lando griffin]

Sorry, I meant Matt Millen, not Mike Millen...brain fart.

[cantonbengal]

I am a die hard bengals fan from the canton ohio area. i would like to recieve the ticket to the lions-bengals game on dec 18 i will wear my 85 jersery and have a made up hat that i made myself of . of matt millen getting flushed in the toilet by mr. ford himself.

[DesperateDerelict]

Is Detroit still in Michigan?

[HoosierCat]

TV set: crowd shot of angry Lions fans at Ford Field. SFX: "Fire Millen! Fire Millen! Fire Millen!"

Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, they just said fire! Fire! FIRE FIRE FIRE!

Butt-head: Huh huh. Huh huh. Calm down, Beavis!

Beavis: Fire! YES! Fire Fire Fire FIRE FIRE FIRE!

Butt-head: (slapping Beavis upside the head) I said shut up, buttmunch. Besides it's not fire it's fire millet.

Beavis: Oh. Oh, er, yeah. Uh, hey Butt-head, what's millet?

Butt-head: It's like a plant, dumbass. Remember Van Dreesen and his, like orr-orr-orr-gas-mic muffins? They had like, millet and dirt and crap.

Beavis: Oh, yeah, right. Those muffins SUCKED!

Butt-head: Yeah, millet sucks. Huh huh. Huh huh. Huh huh.

Beavis: Yeah, maybe that's why they want to, y'know, set it on fire. Because it sucks! Fire millet! Fire millet! FIRE FIRE FIRE!

Butt-head: (slaps Beavis again) Dammnit, Beavis, I said calm down! Huh huh. Huh huh. Yeah, a big pile of burning, like, millet muffins. That'd be cool. Huh huh.

Beavis: yeah, yeah, yeah, cool yeah! Burn millet! Burn millet! FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

Butt-head: Don't make me kick your ass, Beavis...

(Just for fun, no way I could go, it's a bit of a drive... )

[walzav29]

Damn Millen! What more can I do? Punch Millen? Streak the field with "Fire Millen!" written on my chest? Pant's Garcia? At least say we all suck and you're not giving any of us ticket's, so I can give up hope!

[Ripper]

I'd love to go. Hehehehe ! Funny thing i've seen !

[Ripper]

:bengal: :bengal:

Made this real quick

The Lions are now my second favorite team in the league ! I hope you guys get back on track.

[Ripper]

[Ripper]

[Fire Millen]

Some of these posts are quite entertaining. I enjoyed lando griffin's post, ripper's pictures, and spazz70's post. The others were OK but eh. If no one else posts by tonite, then 2 of these 3 posters are going to get tickets.

And oh yeah, to make sure you wont sell these on Ebay or StubHub, you will most likely have to pick these up on Saturday if you're coming to Detroit.

Keep em comin'

[7/11]

i have only 5 days to live due to a fatal illness!!

[DesperateDerelict]

Some of these posts are quite entertaining. I enjoyed lando griffin's post, ripper's pictures, and spazz70's post. The others were OK but eh. If no one else posts by tonite, then 2 of these 3 posters are going to get tickets.

And oh yeah, to make sure you wont sell these on Ebay or StubHub, you will most likely have to pick these up on Saturday if you're coming to Detroit.

Keep em comin'

DON'T FALL FOR IT, GUYS . . . IT'S A CON. "Fire Millen" is running a huge con on everybody on this board.

"What's that?" you ask. "How could you possibly know that, DD?" you inquire.

Elementary, my dear Watson(s) . . . . nobody goes to Detroit on a Saturday! Not EVER!

[Ripper]

Be a nice vacation if I do win. Be a long trip but it would be fun. I have a few other animations I made but canot put them up as i'm at work till 6:30 am. Anyways let's hope for a Bengalsw win and hopefully be lucky enough to see the orange out and how many ppl there really are at the game.

[Ripper]

[Riagogogoindanati]

Ripper..............keep it comin with the crazy animation........YOU ROCK, MY MAN!