Vladimir Putin Gets Bling-Bling

[HoosierCat]

http://www.nfl.com/teams/story/NE/8606564

I understand that Corey Dillon will be giving his ring to the president of a third-world banana republic soon...

[schweinhart]

Wow...what the fudge is this putz thinking

Guess he wants to be the next Armand Hammer. Gotta think a gift like that ought to translate into maybe 8 figures on the business ledger.

Too bad IMO. I'd rather have seen him hand to some poor homeless f*ck in Boston or give it to Darryl Stingley. Anything with a scrap of respect behind the gesture.

[HoosierCat]

Looks like Pooty just bogarted it! :lol:

http://www.courant.com/sports/hc-patsring0...eadlines-sports

To paraphrase Mel Brooks, "It's good to be the President!"

[HoosierCat]

This is good...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte...5062902691.html

A Ring Wrapped In Mystery

By Sally Jenkins

Thursday, June 30, 2005; Page E01

I can't stop thinking about that ring. I've tried in vain to concentrate on other more important topics, but it's no use. All I do is wrack my spacious head wondering how Bob Kraft's New England Patriots Super Bowl ring, all five carats of it, wound up in Russian President Vladimir Putin's pocket.

At least it wasn't Kraft's wedding ring. You think Mrs. Kraft would have bought that age-old "The Kremlin has it" excuse?

I know there are more pressing problems in the world. The shakeup of the spy agencies. That scary Scrushy jury. Tom Cruise's chemical imbalance. (What do you think is wrong with Jack-o'-lantern Boy, by the way?) And I know there is more compelling sports news. The Washington Wizards drafted another high schooler, causing us to worry that everyone in the organization is suffering from some new waterborne repetitive disorder. And we are in the middle of another dying Wimbledon tournament, which packs all the drama of a change in exhibitions at the Smithsonian. But I just can't stop thinking. About that ring.

I keep imaging the moment. One minute you're showing off your bauble. And then next minute the president of Russia, a man not to be toyed with, is hinting that he really, really likes it. What do you do?

You make an impromptu international offering of peace, is what you do.

Kraft didn't set out to give the ring away. It's unclear exactly what happened. It was one of those international, lost-in-translation episodes, and the oddest moment in sports this week, an NFL owner giving a Super Bowl ring to a world leader.

"I showed the president my most recent Super Bowl ring," Kraft said in a statement released Wednesday. The Russian president "was clearly taken with its uniqueness," Kraft said. "At that point, I decided to give him the ring as a symbol of the respect and admiration that I have for the Russian people and the leadership of President Putin."

Kraft was attending a meeting between Putin and American business executives at Konstantinovsky Palace near St. Petersburg last Saturday when it happened. Kraft, who in addition to owning the Patriots is also a paper magnate and a venture capitalist, apparently showed off his 4.94-carat, diamond-encrusted 2005 Super Bowl ring to the Russian president.

Can't you see it? Don't you wish you were in the room so you knew what really happened? Maybe Kraft did that thing that guys with large rings do,especially rings that say you won something big. He just couldn't help himself. He thumped it on the nearest wooden table. And then he said,"Wanna feel the weight?" Or something to that effect. And he slipped it off his finger, and he offered it to Putin.

How did the conversation go? Was it like one of those awkward exchanges between Richard Nixon and Leonid Brezhnev thirty-plus years ago?

Putin: Is gift, no?

Kraft: No.

Putin: Yes.

Kraft: No.

Putin: Is nice.

Kraft: Yes it is, if I do say so myself. I've got three of them now, in four years, heh heh.

Putin: From where do you procure this?

Kraft: Well that's the beautiful thing about America, Vladimir, you see, you have to win one.

Putin: I put on.

Kraft: Sure. Hefty mother, isn't it.

Putin: This is most precious article, yes?

Kraft: Yes.

Putin: How much worth?

Kraft: Well, it's got 124 diamonds. It's 4.9 carats. It's worth over $15,000.

Putin (puts it in his pocket): Thanks to you.

Kraft: Oh, no, I didn't mean. . . .

Putin shakes his hand and walks away.

Kraft: Uh, Vladimir? Vlady?

Kraft, alarmed, turns to Yuri the Russian security guard.

Kraft: There's been a terrible mistake. He took my Super Bowl ring.

Yuri: You drink from this bowl?

Kraft: No, no, my ring, my Super Bowl ring.

Yuri: You eat from this bowl?

Kraft: Forget bowl. Ring. He has my ring.

Yuri: Ahh, yes, ring. Most precious. Is gift, no?

Kraft: No.

Yuri: Yes.

Kraft: No.

Yuri: Yes.

Kraft: Okay, yes already.

And that's how Kraft happened to make a gift to Russia of a ring that had priceless personal meaning. Putin has put the ring in the Kremlinlibrary, where other foreign gifts are traditionally kept. It's a generous gesture, by one of the nicer men in football. But you wonder if he's had any pangs of remorse. It's safe to say that ring's notcoming back, now that it's a museum piece. It's sort of like when those East Berlin youths would accidentally hit the ball over the Wall. You aren't getting the ball back. So you'd better go get another one.

If Kraft does miss his ring, there is one person he could call. The ultimate arbiter and world conciliator, Tom Cruise. He would know what to do. Because Tom knows everything.

Kraft: Tom, I gave him my ring. My Super Bowl ring.

Cruise: I'm a Scientologist, Bob. It's like this: We don't believe in Super Bowl rings.

Kraft: But it was real. I felt it. It was five carats, and had 124 diamonds.

Cruise: You don't know what you're talking about, Bob. Have you done the reading? I have.

Kraft: I just don't know if I can bear the idea of my Super Bowl ring sitting on a shelf in Russia for all time.

Cruise: There is no Russia, Bob. I don't believe in Russia either.

Kraft: No Russia?

Cruise: Trust me on this. I know about these things. You don't.

Kraft: I'm going crazy here.

Cruise: Bob, look me in the eye. There is no such thing as psychiatry. I'm a Scientologist, and we don't believe in that. There's only one thing todo about this situation.

Kraft: One thing?

Cruise: That's right, Bob. Now, here's what I want you to do. Put your arms around me. That's right. Hug it out, Bob. Hug it out.

[Kirkendall]

Did you see the video? I was cracking up at Putin. Ya think Kraft felt a little intimidated over the whole thing?

Tom Cruise = FAG!

[thefrazz]

LOL, that call post has me rolling!

Only a phone call prevented an international incidentBy Ray Ratto

Special to ESPN.com

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/columns/stor..._ray&id=2097433

Super Bowl titles come and go, but some actions carry much greater importance.

Thus was the phone call, made Wednesday by Bill Belichick on behalf of his employer, Robert Kraft, and intercepted by an American spy satellite hovering thousands of miles above Kaliningrad. Belichick was in charge of gauging Vladimir Putin's interest in returning Kraft's ring, which, contrary to Kraft's statement on the record, really wasn't intended to be a gift.

"Prime Minister Putin, please."

"And who might I say is calling?"

"Bill Belichick. Tell him I'm breaking down film, and I don't have a lot of time to screw around here."

"No, I do not think I will tell him that, sir. What is the nature of your call?"

"He's got something that belongs to my boss."

"Your boss … "

"My boss. Robert Kraft. They met the other day. Look, just tell him it's Belichick. He's heard of me."

"Please hold, you brutish American tool."

"Say what?"

"Please hold."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yes, this is Prime Minister Putin. Mr. Kraft, it is good to speak with you again. I will cherish your very generous gift forever. You are a true friend to the Russian people."

"Hello, Mr. Prime Minister. This is Bill Belichick, Mr. Kraft's associate, and speaking of the gift, we need to speak on a matter of some delicacy."

"Please, anything. Let me assure you that our conversation will be kept completely confidential."

"Yeah, sure. Who do you think I am, Steve Mariucci?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Never mind. Let me be frank here. The ring he showed you? Well, and I want to say this without causing any offense, but it was never meant to be a gift."

"Really?"

"Really. And he wants it back."

"Oh, dear. I've already sent it to our Prezzies From Rich Capitalists Museum in Minsk."

"Well, can you get it back?"

"That would create a problem. You see, we Russians are very sensitive about such matters. To ask for the return of a gift is considered a great insult, and while I completely understand that Mr. Kraft may not have understood this, I was under the impression that he was giving it to the great Russian people as a sign of friendship and cooperation."

"No, he just wanted you to see it."

"Why? So we could be impressed by the ostentation of your ring fingers? So we could see your taste in headlight-sized accoutrements? So we could feel shame at the extraordinary extent of your vanity?"

"No, Mr. Prime Minister. It's a Super Bowl ring, and very few people have them. It is very special to him, and he was sharing it with you to see something he is very proud of."

"Well, Mr. Betchilick … "

"Belichick."

"Of course. It is my understanding after speaking with our Foreign Service that hundreds of them are awarded each year for winning a football game that comes at the end of a week-long drunk. It is my understanding that you give them to your secretaries, and your night janitors, and even your backup long snappers. So clearly more than a few people have them."

"True, Vladimir, and may I call you Vladimir?"

"No."

"Fine. Anyway, Vladimir, he would like you to know that he means no offense, and wishes to compensate you for the return of the ring, and for any awkwardness he might have caused by not explaining ahead of time that the damned thing wasn't supposed to end up in your pocket!"

"I'm sorry?"

"Please excuse me. My cell phone seems to be picking up some interference."

"Yes, we have trouble with technology as well."

"Yeah, like toasters."

"Excuse me?"

"I apologize again. Let me call you back on a land line. "

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There we go. Much better. I must tell you I hate cell phones."

"And I must tell you I'm beginning to hate this conversation."

"Fine. Whatever. Anyway, is there some sort of exchange we could agree upon so that nobody leaves with hard feelings?"

"You are a fair and honorable man, Mr. Bestichuk. How are you fixed for uranium?"

"Sorry, Not much call for it here on the football side. How about an autographed football?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"Can't blame a guy for trying."

"Of course not. What do you think would be Mr. Kraft's opinion of having one of your Super Bowls held in Moscow?"

"Way above my pay grade, sir. You'd have to speak with a Mr. Tagliabue."

"That guy? Forget it. He gives me the willies."

"He gives all of us the willies. What say I pass along your interest in hosting a preseason game? I hear the 49ers and Cardinals are playing in Mexico this year."

"One, no preseason. Only ones that count. We don't want to see your Mr. Brady and Mr. Dillon plays three plays and then stand on the sidelines the rest of the night singing your hip-hop music things. And two, no 49ers and no Cardinals under any circumstances. We would, of course, want your team to come, as I understand you win jewelry and many other riches when you play."

"Yes, but that's mostly because we don't play all over hell … er, a trip to your lovely country would only distract our players and cause them to perform badly, and we would not wish to insult me … er, you by giving a substandard effort."

"I understand. Perhaps, then you could provide us with some technical support so that we might begin our own football league. I understand you have a Russian gentleman on your team already."

"Russian? Russian? I don't think … uhh, you mean Tedy Bruschi?"

"Yes, yes. This Brewski fellow would be just the person."

"Well, maybe, but he isn't Russian, and in any event is recuperating from a recent illness, and really isn't available to travel."

"Mr. Bezhstastnik, I am beginning to think you do not wish to deal fairly with us after all. We are not asking for all that much, and in any event we do have the ring, which I believe is already being broken down into its component parts by our scientists for analysis. But perhaps we could speak again on this subject soon … "

"Yeah, maybe you and Mr. Kraft ought to get together and hash this out. But just so you know, I'm going to tell him that we're just going to win him another one anyway, so it isn't like he really needs that one, and he may as well just say it was a gift and be done with it. I mean, he's already got one for each ring finger, and anything else would just make him look like some Biggie Smalls impersonator."

"Uhh, who?"

"Think Khrushchev, only much cooler."