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I thought these were pretty damn funny, especially when the drivers delivered their lines in a dead-panned fashion...

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10. Kasey Kahne: "Anyone here know how to drive a stick?"

9. Jeff Gordon: "Does this gas taste funny to you?"

8. Jeff Burton: "I don't care much for country music or beer."

7. Mark Martin: "Switch the 'R' and the 'C' in 'racing' and you get 'caring.'"

6. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: "Wow, Letterman looks so young in person."

5. Denny Hamlin: "You're looking at a guy who can drive 500 miles without taking a leak."

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4. Kyle Busch: "A truly great driver doesn't mind asking for directions, am I right, ladies?"

3. Kevin Harvick: "It would be nice if the guys in the pits occasionally surprised me with a piece of carrot cake or something."

2. Jimmie Johnson: "The Nextel Cup is great, but what I'm really excited for is the LATE SHOW Ventriloquist Week."

1. Matt Kenseth: "If you think I'm fast in my car, you should see me in the bedroom!"

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