Ox Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 As some of you know, I got married about a year ago. Actually it will be a year ago next month. As of today, things just are not working out. I should never ever have gotten married, and I just don't love her anymore. We do not get along that well, and she does nothing but hang out with her family, and not alot of attention is paid my way. The bigger problem is the fact that I just cannot stay faithful. I have cheated on the Mrs. before we ever got married, and am so incredibly tempted to do it again. I haven't done it since the nuptuals, but man I have in my mind. That's just not right!! I guess I just never got it out of my system. Listen, I understand that I am not husband material, but now I find myself in a predicament. I really am having a hard time deciding how to live the rest of my life.Here's he facts:We have no children -I am 27, so is she-I owned the house a year before we were married, it is in my name -We have absolutely nothing jointly, other than the marriage certificate - no lines of credit, nothing -We've been married 11 months - KY is a No-Fault state - The way I see it is, it can either be now, or 2 years, 5 years, 10 years or whatever from now. The more time I waste, the messier I think it becomes. I mean isn't it selfish to waste years of mine and her life pretending? Am I thinking logical here? I'm such a damn mess, it's ridiculous. I just cannot do this much longer.Any advice you can lend to a brother? Any attorney's out there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 D*mn sorry to hear about your misfortune dude !!! I got a divorce almost three years ago after being married for 11 years. I didn't cheat and neither did she (to the best of my knowledge) but I just got to a point in my life where I was unhappy and thought there is no way you should live out the rest of your life being miserable. I left the relationship and went through an absolute hell, but after getting time to myself and figuring things out, I found a great woman who actually wanted the same things in life as I did and I've never been happier and (as most know) little ArmyBengal Jr. will be here in October. My point is very simple... Life is to d*mn hard to be miserable !!! I have no suggestions on lawyers except to say I hope they all die !!! Well not that extreme, but you get my drift. Good luck and be happy !!!WHODEY !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riagogogoindanati Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 OX................I AM ASHAMED OF YOU. I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL KNOWING! COMING FROM A FEMALE PERSPECTIVE...........IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WEREN'T READY FOR MARRIAGE. TADA! ALTHOUGH, YOU WAITED UNTIL A DECENT AGE, HAD YOUR OWN HOME FOR A WHILE AND YOU WERE PROBABLY ABLE TO DO THE THINGS YOU WANTED BEFORE THE NUPTUALS. THE FACT IS....YOU COULD ATTEMPT COUNSELING BUT, IN ALL HONESTY, WHAT WILL THAT ACCOMPLISH? I'M NOT A QUITTER....AND I'M SURE YOU AREN'T EITHER.....BUT, COME ON, IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE EITHER OF YOU HAVE MADE THE ATTEMPT OVER THE SPAN OF YOUR UNION TO COME TOGETHER....WHETHER IT BE WITH FAMILY, FINANCIALLY OR GETTING A HOME THAT YOU BOTH PICKED OUT TOGETHER. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU STILL MAY ENVY THE BATCHELOR LIFESTYLE AND THERE IS DEFINITELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I WAITED TO GET MARRIED AT THE AGE OF 32....I BOUGHT MY FIRST HOUSE WHEN I WAS 22 AND WORKED LIKE HELL TO GET THROUGH GRAD SCHOOL AND BEYOND, WHILE TRYING TO WORK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO PAY THE BILLS AND TUITION. I LOOK BACK AND THANK GOD EVERYDAY THAT I DIDN'T END UP MARRYING SOME OF THE GUYS I HAD DATED IN MY TWENTIES. AS FATE OR POSSIBLY KARMA WOULD HAVE IT....I ENDED UP MARRYING A GUY I MET THROUGH A FRIEND. WE WERE BOTH 25 AT THE TIME, I LIVED CINCINNATI, HE IN AKRON. WE ALWAYS KEPT IN TOUCH AS FRIENDS AND THE OCCASIONAL WHOOPIE (AS LONG AS WE WERE BOTH NOT IN RELATIONSHIPS). NOW THAT WE HAVE BOTH BEEN THROUGH EXPERIENCES OF SEVERAL RELATIONSHIPS AND HEARTBREAK, ATTAINED OUR DEGREES, KNEW WHAT DIRECTION WE WOULD LIKE TO TAKE IN LIFE......WE BOTH CAME TO THE REALIZATION THAT WE HAD REALLY WANTED EACHOTHER ALL ALONG AND SERIOUSLY DATED EACHOTHER OVER THE YEAR PRIOR TO OUR MARRIAGE IN FEB '06. THIS IS THE WAY I DREAMED IT WOULD TURN OUT. ALL THE TIME APART REALLY HAS MADE US RELISH ALL THE DAYS WE CAN SPEND TOGETHER NOW. ALTHOUGH, MISSRIA STILL LIKES HER ALONE TIME. I CAN'T STAND IT WHEN SOMEONE IS UP MY ARSE 24/7. OKAY......WHAT I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU IS THAT YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE IN A PRIMO ADVANTAGE HERE. YOU HAVE HARDLY ANY TIES TO BREAK, EXCEPT EMOTIONALLY. YOU ARE BOTH FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT OF DEBT. I THINK YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE SOMEDAY.........THIS WOMAN MAY JUST NOT BE HER. (DON'T TELL ME SHE GOT REALLY FAT AND NOW YOU DON'T LOVE HER THE WAY YOU USED TO.....OR I WILL BE REALLY MAD AT YOU, OX.) ONE QUESTION.........WOULD YOU RATHER BECOME A DIVORCEE AT AGE 27, OR AGE 37 WITH A FEW KIDS, BECAUSE YOU WANTED SOME POONTANG ONE NIGHT AND SLIPPED UP AND GOT YOUR WIFE PREGNANT. THE CHOICE IS YOURS, MY FRIEND.I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST, OX. THIS WILL BE A HARD ROAD......BUT, NOTHING IS EVER EASY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bengalboomer7 Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 I agree, you don't want to live that way, always unhappy. The first thing I'd do is talk to her and she how she feels about it. Who knows, if you discuss it, maybe you can turn it around. But you owe it to yourself and to her to be happy and not to hang on just for the sake of hanging on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HairOnFire Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 I should never ever have gotten married, and I just don't love her anymore. Seems to me you've already made the decision. So make the break now and in time both of you will be happier. ((Sigh)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 I should never ever have gotten married, and I just don't love her anymore.Seems to me you've already made the decision. So make the break now and in time both of you will be happier. ((Sigh)) YEP YEP !!! WHODEY !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ox Posted June 21, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Wow, thanks for all the feedback guys (and gals). It's on my mind constantly, and making each day a bit rougher than the last. You're right hair, I have made up my mind. But that's easier said than done it seems. I f*cking hate the fact that I got in this mess to begin with. Dated the girl for 4 1/2 years, and couldn't stand the constant "When am I going to get that ring" bullsh*t I was hearing every day. The next thing you know, I wake up and I'm married. It seemed that fast.What to do? I want to go see an attoney, maybe an old frat bro? Anyone know how fast you can get a divorce like mine over with? But what makes this even worse is the fact that she really is a good person. I, on the other hand, am not. I just cannot see how this is going to be anything but a clusterf*ck. Thank God we have no children. I just cannot wait to get this over with....Anyways, thanks for the advice ya'll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmyBengal Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 If your mind is truly made up, then go see an attorney and get it over with as quickly as possible. I can't see this lasting more than a few months tops seeing as you don't have much together, no kids, and haven't been married for any amount of time. Just because you make a mistake like this, doesn't make you a bad person. Maybe your decision making sucks, but at least you are able to figure out you made the mistake to begin with and won't wallow in sh*t and misery. Get it done and move on with both of your lives !!!WHODEY !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ox Posted June 21, 2006 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 OX................I AM ASHAMED OF YOU. I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALL KNOWING!The Ox never said he knew about women, that's for damned sure! (At least other than their anatomy)(DON'T TELL ME SHE GOT REALLY FAT AND NOW YOU DON'T LOVE HER THE WAY YOU USED TO.....OR I WILL BE REALLY MAD AT YOU, OX.)No, that's not the case.She is beautiful. But I just can't imagine myself sitting on the front porch with her 50 years from now. I guess there's more to it than that, but whatever.Sh*t happens I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riagogogoindanati Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 I WOULD DEFINITELY START ASAP. YOU MAY BE ABLE TO HAVE AN ANNULMENT DONE, SINCE THEIR AREN'T MANY TIES HERE. YOU REALLY NEED TO TALK TO HER FIRST (I'M SURE SHE CAN SENSE IT) AND HOPEFULLY THAT CAN MAKE IT IS AMICABLE AS POSSIBLE. IF YOU ARE HOT ON THE OTHERHAND......SHE MAY NOT WANT TO LET IT GO AS EASILY. ( ) AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING MARRYING A WOMAN THAT PRESSES YOU FOR THAT RING. I CAN'T STAND IT WHEN WOMEN ARE THAT DESPERATE. I KNEW A GIRL ONCE WHO ACTUALLY TOOK HER GUY TO THE JEWELERY STORE AND TOLD HIM......"THIS IS THE RING I WANT." THE BEST PART IS, THEY HADN'T EVEN TALKED ABOUT TYING THE KNOT. SO HE ENDED UP BUYING HER THAT RING, EVENTUALLY (DUMBASS). I HAVE TROUBLE BEING FRIENDS WITH PUSHY WOMEN LIKE THAT. OH WELL, TO EACH HIS OWN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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