Jump to content

Breaking News: Bengals to forfeit!


Recommended Posts

Marvin Lewis says that he informed the league office that he intends to play suspended players Blaylock, Cedric Benson and Odell Thurman. Says we intend to finally play Cedric Benson because we realize now that Chris Perry hasnt performed in pass protection which leaves us without an excuse to use. A snappy reporter asked, "Marvin, Cedric Benson has not been suspended, which Marvin replied, "Stay tuned buddy."

Says he was informed by Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin that the Steelers plan to employ a no man pass rush. Tomlin felt the need to go this route because he wants to triple cover the Bengals ends while playing an aggressive zone to stop up and coming TE Ben SuckTech acquired from the stellar Indy Colts. Tomlin said, "We're playing good ball upfront, I know we can get pressure in Kirkpatrick face and bring it, their center has had some protection issues."

In a related story GM Katie Pumpkin Brown the 3rd has told Chris Mortenson that Carson Palmer has decided to forgo an MRI from NY Mets trainer/towel boy Brian McNamee to return to Cincinnati to receive an secret exploratory surgery not yet known by Dr. Jack Kevorkian who has been known as "Dr. Death." Palmer said, " I dont trust McNamee he wanted to inject some substance in my rear, I told him Marvin tried that it doesnt help my elbow."


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...