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  1. 5 points
    *movie trailer voice* In a world where the Cincinnati Bengals successfully cover the tight end
  2. 5 points
    Run defense has a lot to do with effort. This team has quit listening to Marvin's message. He's lost this locker room. The total lack of accountability (not sitting Bodine or Ogobuechi, not replacing Nugent) has tainted the locker room. Fortunately, the new coaching staff are going to have: * two high draft picks with a lot of promise that have never played a snap. (Jackson, Billings) * some really talented pieces (Dalton, AJ, Eifert, RBs, OGs, Atkins, Dunlap, Burfict?) * a high draft pick position * a backup QB with some trade value * some cap room with all of the old dead wood that will be leaving (kicker, D Line, Center, DB) I think this team played better when they bought into Marvin's message and Gruden and Zimmer (two current head coaches) were the coordinators. Their replacements aren't nearly as good. Maybe they covered up some of ML's deficiencies?
  3. 4 points
    I have been lurking around here for a VERY long time. Thanks for getting things back up and running, it was an empty feeling not being able to check in here every day!
  4. 4 points
    Here is my perspective, if anyone cares. I give the Bengals a solid B+, the reason for a relatively low grade is in a word uncertainty. The Bengals are banking hard on guys becoming better pros than college players and there is some evidence to back that position. If you go simply on college production this is a very meh draft, maybe a C. Here is my breakdown of the drafted players. 1 (5): Ja'Marr Chase, WR, LSU: PFF Prospect Overall Rank 6 (first of the WR class), Dane Brugler Overall Rank 4 (first of the WR class) Everyone on this board knows how I feel about Chase, so I am not going to rehash this argument again. I have him graded as the best overall WR prospect in the last 5 years. A faster / more athletic version of DeAndre Hopkins or DeVonte Adams which is high praise. I think the single greatest need for this offense, in the wake of AJ and Ross and Erickson's departure, was a WR that can win at all levels of the defense, this is something they have not had since....well...I guess Chad and AJ would be the closest but even they did not have Chase's athleticism. Chase opens the field for Higgins, Tate, and Boyd to be their best selves. He also forces defenses to guard the entire field which should open up the LoS for Mixon. All this being said without mention that he has two years experience playing with his Pro QB and they made sweet music together on the playing field in 2019. Pick Grade: A 2 (46): Jackson Carman, G/T, Clemson: PFF Prospect Overall Rank 48 (10th best Tackle), Dane Brugler Overall Rank 90 (8 best Guard) If they would have taken Carman at #38 without gaining draft capital I would have been critical of this pick. However, they eschewed normal Bengals draft philosophy and traded down to a spot they could ensure they would get their man and still pickup needed additional impactful picks (anything for me past Rd. 5 is not impactful because the hit rate on those picks is laughably low). With this said, the Bengals did their homework, identified the guy that they wanted, manuevered the draft to get him at the right spot and maximized draft position. As a prospect Carman is a projection. He has never played Guard in his life. He has never graded (per PFF) above an 80 for an entire season in college. He was a 5 star recruit and the top prep recruit from Ohio in his draft class. He has the tools and athleticism to be great. He seems to be a very bright kid and he is enthusiastic about getting better at his craft. Carman had minor back surgery after the season in 2021 which caused him to miss much of the evaluation season, I believe this is the reason for the relatively low prospect grade. Carman was called a first round pick by Paul Alexander and Willie Anderson when prompted which, combined with Pollack's grade, is enough to convince me that he is a great pick for the Bengals especially when considering they obtained two 4th round picks for sliding back to take him. Pick Grade: A 3 (69): Joseph Ossai, OLB/Edge, Texas: PFF Prospect Overall Rank 60 (9th best Edge), Dane Brugler Overall Rank 46 (8th best Edge) Two things with this pick. One...I wanted them to take another Offensive Lineman here. Two...I watched alot of Teven Jenkins tape and the Okla. St./ Texas game was shown prominently where Jenkins used Ossai as his own personal floormat. On one play he took Ossai from the line of scrimmage and pushed him 10 yards away from the LOS and then continued to push him 5 yards out of bounds. Since Jenkins is the one of the few top tier lineman Ossai faced, I am concerned about his ability to win at the next level. Athletically Ossai is everything you want in an Edge. He is smart, aggressive, hard working, his Relative Athletic Score of 9.49 is elite and his AIM score is the best of this Edge class. I will admit I am holding my breath to see if he can take his athleticism and win in the NFL. Mostly I am still stinging that the Bengals did not use this pick to further solidify the offensive line. Brady Christensen, Wyatt Davis, Kendrick Green, Spencer Brown, Ben Cleveland, Quinn Meinerz, and James Hudson were all taken between Ossai's pick and the next Bengals pick in the 4th round. Particularly with Meinerz, Davis and Green on the board I would rather them have drafted a lineman here. Pick Grade: B- 4 (111): Cam Sample, 3 Technique/Edge, Tulane: PFF Prospect Overall Rank 88 Overall (13th best Edge), Dane Brugler Overall Rank -- (Brugler only grades up to 100 in his big board) 18th Best Edge I love Cam Sample's versatility, he can win on the Edge, he can win inside at 3 Technique. Reading between the tea leaves, I think the Bengals envision Sample to play the Geno Atkins role on the defense i.e. Interior Disruptor. Sample was the defensive MVP of the Senior Bowl eliminating (at least for me) any concerns I had about level of competition. I love this pick. Pick Grade: A 4 (122): Tyler Shelvin, NT, LSU: PFF Prospect Overall Rank 116 Overall (10th best IDL), Dane Brugler Position Rank 12th among IDL This pick confuses me. They have DJ Reader signed to a relatively long contract, Reader is the same kinda player and plays the same role in the defense. I am guessing this was the pick because they were concerned that Reader could be injury prone and last year they had noone else to plug is. Love the Belichek story about him calling out #72 as a must have future Patriot. Did not play college football last year because of concerns regarding COVID but was a key cog in the LSU Defensive Line during their Championship run in 2019. No doubting his ability, it just seems like a high pick for an insurance policy. Pick Grade: C+ 4 (139): D'Ante Smith, T, East Carolina: PFF Prospect Overall Rank 179 (19th best Tackle), Dane Brugler Position Rank 11 (86 overall) Yup, Brugler actually had Smith ranked higher than second round pick Carman, PFF not so much. This pick is all about what might be. This kid only played 78 snaps in 2020 but started as a true freshman in 2018 and 2019. All of his college snaps came at LT which is definitely his natural position. He actually weighed in at his pro day at 295 which is hella light in todays game. He is an explosive athlete (113" broad jump) with long arms (35") and fluid movement but he is RAW, his overall season grades were 63.8 in 2018, 71 in 2019, and (admittedly only one game) 64.8 in 2020...at East Carolina! He needs to gain 20 lbs of muscle before he sees the field in the NFL, he has the frame to handle it but can he add muscle without losing the flexibility and movement skills that makes him special....no one knows. Could be a home run, could be a strikeout, again lots of uncertainity. Pick Grade: C 5 (149): Evan McPherson, K, Florida: PFF Prospect Overall Rank N/A (PFF doesn't grade specialists), Dane Brugler Position Rank 1 Did the Bengals need a high level kicker, yes. Does this guy fit the bill, his tape is strong but who knows. Kicker is THE most volatile position to give a prospect grade. No one knows if, when the lights are on and you are playing in the NFL, you are Justin Tucker or Austin Seibert. I am going to give this grade an incomplete because only time will tell if this was a brilliant pick or a catastrophic one. Pick Grade: Incomplete 6 (190): Trey Hill, C/G, Georgia: PFF Prospect Overall Rank 266 (8th best Center), Dane Brugler Position Rank 8 This is the pick that they had to take because they did not take an offensive line prospect at 69. I know very little about Hill, he was completely off my radar screen coming into the draft. I have read some reports (after the draft) that he is a really good guard prospect, that he is a tough, strong, smart football player whose best is yet to come, others? Meh. Guys that I trust have said that Trey Hill is a major reach at this position, so for me it is a reach of a pick at a position of need. Pick Grade: C- 6 (202): Chris Evans, RB, Michigan: PFF Prospect Overall Rank 106 (7th best RB), Dane Brugler Position Rank 14 Evans evaluation is all over the map. He missed all of 2019 to academic cheating (which he acknowledged and owned). In 2020 he needed to win back his job (which Harbaugh did not make easy) and he only got 16 rushing attempts in 2020 (with 10 targets in the passing game of which he caught 9). Evans 2018 tape was very promising with 423 yards and 4 TDs rushing on 81 attempts (5.2 YPC) and 18 catches on 19 targets for an additional 148 yards. Athletically this is a slam dunk. His RAS Score of 9.85 was the second highest of the drafted RBs (behind Kene Nwangwu) ahead of Travis Etienne, Michael Carter, and Javonte Williams. Evans runs good routes and is an easy catcher of the football in the passing game. He is a very capable blocker as well and has the size to stand up in the passing game (5'11" 211 lbs). He was initially recruited as a slot receiver to Michigan. This pick is all guesswork, his body of work suggests he shouldn't be drafted but his measurables suggest he is a second round talent. At this point in the draft it is a risk worth taking. Pick Grade: B+ 7 (235): Wyatt Hubert, Edge, Kansas St: PFF Prospect Overall Rank - Not ranked in the top 300, Dane Brugler Position Rank 34 Middling Production from a middling athlete (5.99 RAS) at a middling program who has a big time attitude. This pick screams Practice Squad. With 14 d lineman on the roster right now (15 with Kerrigan) Hubert has next to no chance to make the final 53 but he is worth a flier at pick 235 because he is a reported football junkie and a great hair on fire persona. Pick Grade: Meh (let's face it, no 7th round selection is going to make or break your draft) Notable UDCFA: Pooka Williams, RB, Kansas - had a very draftable grade by both PFF and Dan Brugler (153rd overall by PFF). He is a Gio Bernard clone, quick, fast, small has a chance to stick Pro Wells, TE, Texas Christian - Also had a draftable grade from PFF...short, slow, TE who can do a little of everything. I don't even see him as a PS Drew Christman, P, Ohio State - Was Dane Brugler's 4 best graded Punter, could stick...Hubert is getting old. This is the clip of Teven Jenkins murdering Joseph Ossai. https://youtu.be/dw5E8Pks17g
  5. 4 points
    Interesting to see how far Wyatt Davis has fallen in this process, two months ago he was a fringe 1st rounder. I still think he would be a great pickup in the 3rd or 4th. I have 12 OL with a first round grade in this class, i.e. I have 12 linemen that in an average class would be a first rounder. They are in order: Penei Sewell Rashawn Slater Alijah Vera-Tucker Christian Darrisaw Tevan Jenkins Landon Dickerson Dylan Radunz Alex Leatherwood Sam Cosmi Liam Eichenberg Walker Little and Creed Humphrey On average 5-7 olinemen go in the first round and 4-6 go in the second. If we break down this class here is the way I see it playing out 5 QB's are almost certain to go in the first round. At a minimum 5 WRs are going to go probably more (LV betting line is 5.5). Leaving out linemen for the moment, 1 TE will absolutely go (Kyle Pitts), I believe three LBs will go in the first round at a minimum (Michah Parsons, J.O.K., and either Nick Bolton, Jamin Davis, or Zaven Collins). IDL I think only one will go which will be Barmore. Edge we should have 4-5 at a minimum (at minimum Paye will go, Ojulari will go, Jaelan Phillips will go, and at least one of Ronnie Perkins, Tryon, Rousseau, Oweh or Basham with the ones that don't going high in the 2nd). That leaves Oline and DB, historically 5-7 of each go in the first round. In this draft I think only one safety goes (Moehrig) but Surtain, Horn, Newsome, Farley, and Samuel all go in Rd. 1. So out of 32, 5 QB, 5 WR, 1 TE, 0 RB, 1 DL, 4 Edge, 3 LB, 1 S, and 5 CB this is 25 picks minimum which will leave 7 picks for offensive line at most. Sewell, Slater, Darrisaw are all locks, I think Tackle gets priority over IOL so I think Jenkins is also likely a lock which is 4, I think Vera-Tucker goes as well thats 5.....then it will come down to all the fringe guys at other positions and 2 of the other tackles and/or Dickerson at most....every other linemen will drop into the second round. I have 40 players in this draft with a first round grade so it is possible only the 5 locks go for offensive line in the first which will leave a a cornucopia of linemen available to us at #38....especially when you throw in guys like Meinerz, Carmen, Mayfield, Wyatt Davis, Trey Smith and Cleveland which I have as having second round grades and Hudson which I have as still starter quality in the 3rd. Even if we have 7 olinemen go in the 1st and 7 olinemen go in the 2nd (which would be historic) someone really good is still going to be available to us at #69.
  6. 4 points
    I think Billy would next have posted a pic of Ms Cates with her, uhm, upper half uncovered We're still thinking about you Billy
  7. 4 points
    Cris Crocker, who on November 20th, 2008, knocked Santonio Holmes into the shadow realm, then stared down the Steelers' sideline? All in retaliation for the cheap shot 5 weeks earlier that Hines Ward laid on Rivers, breaking his jaw? That Cris Crocker? The guy who finally stood up to the Steelers bullying and said "enough"? Yea, I've heard of him.
  8. 4 points
    There is a very good reason for that. Dalton’s performance in games other fans might have seen, like nationally televised games and playoff games, was absolutely, almost unbelievably, horrible. It was hard to believe the same guy we’d watch carve up Baltimore in a regular season game, could play as badly as he did in nationally televised games. Again, and again, and again.
  9. 4 points
    I logged back in today to make this comment and will step back away... I believe in the philosophy that "If you don't have a franchise QB, you try to get one". Well.... That is exactly where we find ourselves and sitting at the #1 spot allows us to take the best shot. Take it. Don't be a pussy. Make the selection and move forward. The rookie wage scale makes it possible to swing and miss without it crushing the franchise for the next 7 years. A true franchise QB can make everything else around them better, so if they swing and hit, the payoff is massive. Someone can argue all they want about whether Joe Burrow is the best QB in the draft, but i'm not that guy. I believe him to be the clear #1 QB in the class and fully deserving of being the Bengals pick at #1. Just take Burrow and move on to addressing how the organization can actually use free agency to help build around him. Also cannot forget having the top pick in the other rounds as well. USE THEM WISELY. That being said, much like the last Bengals related post I made, I still do not believe they care enough. For that reason I have not given much thought to anything they have done and won't until closer to the draft. Will it to happen Mem. I'm with you. WILL THAT SHIT !!! Later...
  10. 4 points
    Billy essentially IS Bengalzone. I’ve spent around half of my life contributing to this board in some capacity, and he has always been its spiritual foundation. Rest easy, Boobiemeister.
  11. 4 points
    Very sad news indeed. Billy has been a huge part of this board since as long as I've been here and the one that asked me to be a moderator all those years ago. Him and I had a chance to meet up a while back at the Hofbrauhaus in Newport. I found the pic here, but it wouldn't let me pull it up. We sat at the bar together, had lunch, drank beers and shot the shit about our beloved Bengals and all other matters we could think of. It was like sitting down with someone I knew my whole life. When I was deployed to Afghanistan, he sent me music and movies on CD. Most notable from that group was a copy of the Bengals and Chargers playing in the freezer bowl. I still have all of the stuff he sent to me. He was also my brother in arms in being a proud Marine !!! I will say a prayer for our friend and also keep his family in our thoughts and prayers through the Holiday season. I am very saddened by the loss of Billy. Rest in Peace my brother !!! Mark
  12. 4 points
    "Training camp starts this week ?? Does Wal-Mart's equate brand make a comparable Gatorade ??"
  13. 4 points
  14. 4 points
    We are headed out on vacation and when we were at the Cincinnati airport, we ran into John Ross. Was super cool with my son and we got a great pic with him. Funny thing is, the people around us were like, who is that guy ?? My son is still amped up. Good guy !!
  15. 4 points
    Love it. Haters can bite me. That is all.
  16. 4 points
    Now I remember why I avoid this board for months after the draft.
  17. 4 points
    His teams play, durability, selfless attitude, oh, and he was clearly the best running back on the team. i would have given him a 4 year deal with escalators for downs played. He's basically Peerman but better.
  18. 4 points
    In regards to dumping Pac Man, this draft is packed full of CB's and bet there will still be quality into the 4th round. Just move on and don't look back. Buh Bye.
  19. 4 points
  20. 4 points
    Merry Christmas from my family to yours! I have decided to call myself Jolly Old St. Who Dey. Not pictured: My Bengals socks.
  21. 3 points
    I met Kenny Anderson just now! He came into Holy Grail which where geep and I had decided on for lunch. I got a chance to go over and thank him for the good memories growing up cheering for him and that I had flown back to cheer for him one more time. Even got to shake his hand. It was very cool and weirdly meant a lot to me. Life is strange and turning 50 has made me nostalgic.
  22. 3 points
    I've made the dire mistake of trying to participate in the large Bengals board "Jungle Noise". Yikes. There's definitely a reason I've stuck with Bengalszone all this time.
  23. 3 points
    Yes this is Paul. The way you handed that ketchup bottle to me tells me all I need to know about you as a football player. We’re drafting you in the 5th round. Here, handle this mustard bottle so I can determine if you can help us on special teams.
  24. 3 points
    this is exactly the reason you take Chase in the first. It is highly likely that Marshall and Bateman are gone by #38, it is an almost certainty that Waddle, Chase and Smith are gone. Even if one of the five slips into the 2nd round they will likely be snapped up before we get to our pick. If those five WRs are gone, the well is pretty dry at #38, you can always double dip on the oline, that would be fine but that leaves the WR group lacking much needed athleticism. Schwartz and Brown ran very simplified routes in college, they did not have much of a route tree and were purely vertical guys in college. Schwartz is John Ross 2.0, bad hands, can't run routes, concentration lapses....will get over drafted because of speed. Brown is a better prospect but because he was used almost exclusively as a vertical threat in UNC's offense, you have no idea if he can run good routes or not. On top of that Brown is not shifty and can't shake guys after the catch with only 4.9 yards after reception. Chase can do everything at an incredibly high level, you take him at 5 because he makes every play look better.
  25. 3 points
    Err.. Mixon ran a 4.46 / 40 at his combine, he is both fast and agile and far from being one of the slowest in the league, I will say it again the Bengals have not had an outside deep threat since Marvin Jones left and that allows defenses to key on the LOS. Mixon has been fighting 8 men boxes since he got here. He may not have Gio's shiftiness but I believe you are going to see marked improvement with Joe this season provided we can bring in a deep threat. Not that Chase is a panacea but you will be surprised at how much that will transform this offense IMHO.
  26. 3 points
  27. 3 points
    Much more than a swap, that’s for sure. Gio’s 771 combined yards were his most since 2017 and his 6 TDS were the most since 2014, his second year. And he caught a career-high 79.7% of balls thrown his way. I’m in no rush to see him leave.
  28. 3 points
    Even if he had the rock he would likely wish for better creamed corn or maybe TJ's Grandma....doubtful he would wish for anything football related.
  29. 3 points
    We can look forward to Mike’s condescending interview when he explains pro football to us.
  30. 3 points
    Maybe it's unreasonable of me, but anything less than 4-0 against NYG, WAS, DAL, and HOU is going to piss me off.
  31. 3 points
    Heh, saw a few replays and I am def in the shots kicked at that end zone. The burrow color rush to the left of the goalposts being kicked at. here are some obs from being there: Waiting for my flight - a few quick additional thoughts : I was in the north end zone 11 rows off the field - so a new vantage point for me. The second and fourth quarters when bengals were on offense i had as close to burrow’s vantage point on throws as I will ever get, and, damn. I have zero idea how he sees some of the windows he sees. There were five or six passes that he threw that I had time to think “where in the hell is he throwing it” and each time he competed a ball. He may be a wizard. The one in particular that sticks out was the 23-yarder to Higgins in the 4th. He. Was. Not. Open. Just an unreal throw. a few other things: —-I really now fear that AJ is cooked. The play in the first quarter where burrow rolled away from pressure and waved AJ downfield was coming at me - the old AJ makes that play but I could immediately see when Burrow waved him to get deep and AJ planted to go that there was no burst. None. I hope that it is still coming back, but that was rough to watch live as close to it as I was. —-the two Mixon 3rd quarter TD came at my end zone - on the second of them, the run up the middle, it looked like Redmond did a really good job sealing off his man and giving Joe the hole. It was like the Red Sea parting from where I was. —-thought the holding call to negate the Boyd TD was weak. Especially because on series before that Dunlap was dragged down right in front of us and the damn ref and he swallowed the flag while Jax converted a long third down. They also replayed the Lawson personal foul flag in the stadium and that was a fucking joke of a call. If refs were simply competent we blow them out in the first half. —-it is weird watching burrow live. He’s so in control, so calm , I’ve never seen anything quite like it in cincy. At least not four games in to a career. He’s an absolute superstar coming. —-I didn’t see him really miss on any deep throws he should have connected on. The receivers are simply not open. Very little separation deep to connect on the ones yesterday. —-hell, not a fuckton of separation on a lot of the intermediate passes either. Burrow is so damn accurate. If this was Dalton...yeesh. that’s most of what is at the top of my head this AM.
  32. 3 points
  33. 3 points
    I will always remember where I was and what I was doing the day Randy Bullock set the franchise kick record.
  34. 3 points
    Noo, gotta keep the dream alive. 0-16 or bust.
  35. 3 points
    Memo From: Mike Brown To: Marvin Lewis Marvin, just wanted to let you know that we've received the various emails and communique' you have transmitted regarding the halftime Monkey Rodeo we employ every year. The feelings you and your wife have expressed, that the show is nothing more than animal abuse and should be stopped, is not shared by myself or me or Mike Brown (I). You are correct that the show, in its simplest recitation, could be described as stuffing a few Capuchin monkeys in little western outfits, strapping them to the backs of border collies, and sending them on a terrifying, helter skelter ride at speeds up to 30 miles per hour, all in front of a screaming horde of half intoxicated NFL fans. I give you all that. But so what? It's well received by those fans. I investigated your claim regarding Tim Lepard, the man that brings the monkey rodeo to Cincinnati every year. And you are correct, his show's other engagements consist of very low level minor league baseball games, county fairs, and yes, unfortunately, a good number of motorcycle rallies. Marvin, let me point out to you the clientele at those affairs are the same subset of the population that comes to our stadium. You know I share your utter contempt for most of the drunken cretins that attend our games. We're staging nothing more than a modern-day gladiator battle out there every other Sunday, complete with broken bones, maimings, and blood lust. Who do you think we're attracting? This type of low-brow, dimwitted monkey show is right on their level. It's kind of our way of saying, "Hey look, drunken clerk from the car parts store, monkeys in cowboy outfits riding on dogs!" Come to think of it, it's not our way of paraphrasing that. That's exactly what we're saying! Your point that we are "cheaping out" on the halftime show, just because the Rams are staging halftime concerts with the latest Instagram L.A. pop starlet, and the Browns are leaning on the Cleveland Rock and Roll angle to stage heavy acid rock freak-outs at halftime, is not well received here in the upstairs suites at Paul Brown Stadium. By God, if it's good enough for the Wilmington Blue Rocks and the Erie Seawolves, it's good enough for the Cincinnati Bengals! And I checked, although it doesn't matter in the least, you are correct in that we spend about a tenth of what other NFL franchises spend on halftime entertainment. So what? At least we're spending something. Keep complaining Marvin, do you really want to see my next move? Because we'll go back to a rousing show from the Elder High School Marching Band, followed by a swearing in ceremony for the local crop of ROTC candidates. God bless America! Think our fans won't eat that up with a spoon? Damn right they will. Thanks, Mike PS - Good try there on Sunday night, thought we had a chance for a while. Keep up the good work.
  36. 3 points
    Having had a short night to reflect (couldn't sleep, stayed up to drink in an as much ESPN and NFL network as I could since I couldn't sleep and was anticipating a happy day at work amongst all the Ravens fans...), the following:1. I absolutely will not kill them for the play selections to end the first half. I have railed for years that Marvin is too conservative there, I will not get mad at him for allowing them to try and put foot on throat. Execute better next time, but keep trying to score. That's how you get ready to win playoff games and other big games, frankly.2. The Lazor offense is a joy to watch. So creative, not just at scheming guys open, but in protecting Andy and maximizing the effectiveness of the line.3. Cool to see what Green looks like with help and someone to move him around in various sets. He is uncoverable in man in that scenario, and if they do double cover him, it makes the other weapons that much more effective.4. Uzomah looks like Eifert's replacement in real time. 5. Mixon looks like the real deal to me for sure, putting the ball and team on his back in 4th quarter for that last drive to go up eight and then to set up the clinching field goal felt right. 6. Tyler Boyd is a legit weapon. Once they start sprinkling Ross in more effectively, I see no reason for them to take their foot off the gas at any point.7. Gotta give Austin credit, that defense does look like it is trying for turnovers at all times. That's a nice change. And, while we are at it, loved the aggressiveness from Austin on the blitz call that resulted in the Williams forced fumble and recovery late in the 4th. Guenther would have had them in a shell. 8. Big kicks from Bullock again, he has earned my trust. Wish he had a bigger leg, but nice to be able to count on him when they need him.9. NO sacks allowed by the offensive line. That's quite something, considering what everyone expected and feared heading into the game...Thrilled with this start to the season. Just huge. It was fun to watch the national narrative shift in real time last night...
  37. 3 points
    For those interested in linguistics, the above is pronounced IfOnlyIHadntArrivedatThePointOfTackle OhSoLate-ee In our next installment, we will discuss what the Shazor Train is and why you shouldnt board it
  38. 3 points
    I think Alexander was the ultimate company man. If he got fed shit, he thanked Mike for the caviar and asked for seconds. Its why he survived so long here. Mike says,"we don't want to pay all these vets their 2nd and 3rd contracts. Paul, you're the o line coach, are the new guys WHO ARE ON THEIR COST CONTROLLED UNDER THE NEW CBA ROOKIE CONTRACTS ready to take over?" Paul answers, "you bet they are sir! Bodine's a great player! Cedric's a natural left tackle, he's ready." Somehow I don't think Zimmer was that compliant. He's got players who follow him from one team to another. Alexander played a political game here, as many do, and it finally caught up with him. Marvin, loathesome as we all find him, at least deserves credit for getting Mike to drive his favorite golden retriever to the pound.
  39. 3 points
    Haha Get Mike Brown Out of the Draft Room (GMBODR) 2k17
  40. 3 points
  41. 3 points
    The scene - a secret room, deep in the bowels of PBS. A disheveled old man stares at a wall filled with a collection of photos, clipped headlines, and handwritten notes. Push pins and yarn connect various facets of the board to other parts. An unflitered cigarette hangs from the old man's lips. A much younger but much dumber looking man sits in a chair and watches the old man while he stares at the board, occasionally moving a picture here, a headline there. Finally, the younger man speaks, "Mike, you haven't slept in 72 hours, and you're living off coffee and the greenies we took from Pete Rose's personal stash from Riverfront. Take a break, man." The old man grimaces, and says, "Paul, you're my line coach, not my Doctor. I'm close here, I'm close. This is the culmination of fifty years of work. So shut the fuck up." The younger man leans back in his chair, resignation is very apparent on his crushingly stupid looking face. The old man suddenly gasps. He falls to his knees, hands on the side of his head, "My God! I've got it! I should have seen it 8 years ago!" The young man leans forward, "You've got what Mike? Don't tell me you've cracked the code, don't tell me unless you really have!" "Oh, I've cracked it all right. I've decoded the whole NFL. Decades of work, late night study and corporate espionage have finally paid off! We'll own the fucking Super Bowl, Paul. They'll have to rename the fucking trophy after my dad by the time we're done. I've finally got it." "What is it, Mike? What's the secret?" The old man stands. He violently tears his shirt off. He yells, "Oh, there'll be plenty of time for that Paul, plenty of time! But first, I pledged my whole being to this quest, and now it's time for the shit to jump off!" The old man uncaps a bottle of Old Crow whiskey, and takes several slugs straight from the bottle. "Urrrggghh. 50 fucking years of sobriety down the drain! Fuck yea!" He takes several more pulls from the bottle, sputters, coughs, and projectile vomits onto the floor in front of the wall with the headlines and photos. "Ha ha! Fuck you Rooney, you shriveled old bastard! This is it, motherfucker! You can try to hide Kathleen, but I'll find her, and when I do, the panties will be hitting the floor! Ha ha ha!" The old man chugs the rest of the bottle. The younger man looks alarmed, "Jesus Christ Mike, Kathleen Rooney? She's been dead for like 30 years!" "That's what they want you to believe. Haven't you studied my board?" the old man yells. "She's alive, and she's the best piece of ass I ever had, and now I'm gonna tap that ass again! I'm gonna burn that motherfucker down. King Kong ain't got shit on me. That's right, that's right!" Another bottle appears, and the old man chugs half of it. "Paul! My little brother, my little line coach! Come over her motherfucker!" The old man throws his arm around the younger, shockingly stupid looking, man. "See here, Paul! Know why I kept you all these years? You suck, you know that? Know why I kept you?" The old man pulls 3 huge gulps from the bottle. "I kept you because you're named Paul. I didn't even realize it when I hired you. But after you were here, I was like, 'Ain't no fucking way I'm firing a coach from the Cincinnati Bengals who's named Paul. Ain't ever gonna happen!" The old man chugs from the bottle, then throws it against the cinder block wall, shattering it and sending glass shards flying. "Hey NFL! I own your fucking ass now! Ha ha ha!" The old man grabs a walker that's been standing beside him. He approaches his conspiracy wall. "See this shit Paul? Hard fucking work. Hard work by a ***damn Dartmouth grad. Tha's right motherfucker, I'm smart. Not like these public school pukes that own these other teams. Jerry fucking Jones? Motherfucker went to Arkansas! My fucking german shepherd could graduate from Arkansas. Jones can barely fucking read! Do you know I hired some chinaman to develop an algorithm for this shit? Didn't fucking work. I figured it out with my conspiracy wall! Me!" "C'mon Mike, before all that Old Crow kicks in, what's the secret? What?" The old man smiles, pulls the younger man close again. He breathes his words out, "Paul, it all comes down to two words. Two little words. Know what those words are? Do you know what is going to win us the next ten Super Bowls in a row? Two words. And those two words are Compensatory Picks. That's it. Trade Dalton. Trade Geno. I don't even give a fuck any more. Trade AJ. Compensatory picks can be traded now, and we'll have 3 AJ Greens in here before you know it. It's all compensatory picks. We own this league now! Eat shit Kraft, you're a fucking paper salesman! I"m the scion of NFL royalty and I'm a ***damn Dartmouth grad! Go sell some cardboard boxes you fucking hack!" The old man pulls a cellphone from his pocket, dials and says, "Hello, Kathleen? It's on baby! Where you at? What? I don't care if you're wearing Depends. Daddy's ready to smash!!" He hangs up the phone, grabs his walker and begins walking slowly to the door. "Paul, get your car keys, you have to drive me to a nursing home in Altoona, Pennsylvania." He turns, and takes one last look at the board, "Compensatory picks. I should have known all along."
  42. 3 points
    From "The White Star Zone", the public relations publication of the White Star Line, owners of the Titanic, written by White Star Line public relations chief Geoffor Hoobsin: "Most people don't know enough about shipping to realize that missing icebergs results in having to spend a lot on fuel to complete the journey. Also, if you miss icebergs, you are sacrificing a lot of insurance claims you could be making. Additionally, having your ship complete its journey without hitting an iceberg really is overrated. 50% of the time you end up getting sued by various passengers, harbor fees you didn't foresee pop up, union trouble, the list goes on. People act like just because our Chief Navigator, Pole Alexundster, has steered our last 4 ships right into icebergs, we should look for a new navigator. That's not how the White Star Line works. We're loyal to our employees. Mr. Alexundster has two years left on his contract and we will honor that commitment. Our next ship is scheduled to leave New York City for a 5 day cruise straight to the bottom of the North Atlantic, or Dublin Ireland, no way to tell just now, but anyway the ship is completely booked, so we're doing something right."
  43. 3 points
    Green injured. Eifert injured. Bernard injured. Burfict suspended and injured. New coaching staff. Loss of Jones and Sanu. Growing pains of Oogie Boogie. Several losses in the 4th quarter. Hobson is already writing his spin for 2017 on how this "should have been" a 10-6 team. Sigh.
  44. 3 points
    Might as well shoot your own eyes out, after watching this game lol
  45. 3 points
    Too busy in my life to let football get out of it's proper order spending too much time beyond watching the games, but the problem with this franchise is real simple, actually. There is only one constant with this franchise since 1991, the year he took over, Mike Brown. Coincidentally, they have not won a playoff game since then, let alone made a SB appearance. Coaches and players have come and gone and the only coach that may have made a difference was fired by Brown the year he was handed the baton. (Sam Wyche) Nothing will change until he passes the baton on to someone else, and even then, it's no guarantee depending on who ends up with the baton! Pick apart and analyze all you want until the cows come home, but it is, what it is! No 'fix' until/when he steps down!
  46. 3 points
    I am always unhappy with a loss, but 4 things made me happy in that "silver lining" sense 1) Much improved pass rush 2) Andy. He is absolutely not part of the problem. 3) Oogie Boogie benched. Thank you. Put Fisher out there next week and see how it goes 4) The big one - The era of TJ Johnson begins. No, I never like to see a player hurt. No, I am not a fan of TJ Johnson despite sharing initials with him. I AM glad - very glad - that someone not named Bodine was snapping to Andy. Start getting Westerman ready at C, please.
  47. 3 points
    I'd also like to add his and my family spent some good time together. I traveled a long ways to get to the game, but nothing compared to his trip from Scotland. I was in the middle of a corn hole game, and some guy I've never seen before walked up to me and smiled. I knew who it was. After 13 years we finally got to drink a beer together and the Bengals came away with a win. What a fantastic day.
  48. 3 points
    So, here I am, taking a break from being the most negative person on the game threads, to actually being at the game. Just thought I'd sign in before I was too drunk to type! Who dey!!!
  49. 3 points
    I'm sitting at my brother's house preparing for a tailgating party outside the stadium for tonight's game wearing a throwback Thursday #84 T.J. Houshmandzadeh jersey. Other than seeing the game, I must see Scottish tonight. Any other of you other bastards who may attend post where you're at and I'll try to find you as well. Who-Dey motherf**kers, Billy's in town!
  50. 3 points
    Sounds rough, but I'll be roughing it as well. We keep our house about 70, but I'll be watching the game Saturday night in the basement, which stays about SIXTY SEVEN DEGREES!!I That's cold, I might need a blanky. I'm not happy to be watching it down there, the upstairs is better for sure. But someone had to take a stand against the tyrannical rule of my wife. So I stepped up to the plate. That's right, I'm occupying our basement and am in the midst of a standoff. The time was now to take a stand, so I've done it. I'm not alone either. Both our cats come down here frequently, and my doberman who is trying sort of unsuccessfully to recover from surgery is down here too. On a scale of 1-10, his personal protection capabilities have deteriorated to about a 1. But his skills at laying around in a daze have sharpened considerably. And when it comes to seeping gross fluid from his infected incision, he's an absolute 10. Nobody does it better. Attempts on my part to end this standoff peacefully have so far been rebuffed. When informed by an intermediary that I was committed to laying around in the basement until changes are made, my wife played the old, "how is it a standoff when you're just doing what you always do," strategy. I should have seen that one coming. It's all about basement use, and if my wife thinks me and my half-dead dog are going to take it lying down while she pretty much takes over the whole basement with laundry drying racks, those shelves my sister gave us that we store cans and boxes of food on, and 8, count 'em, 8 old dining room chairs that we don't know what to do with since we bought our new ones, well, I guess now she knows that she's got another thing coming! This basement is for watching Bengals games on the giant TV she told me not to buy but I bought anyway, it's for hanging up my 3' x 5' Bengals flag on game days, it's for me and the dog to escape to when the women in our house are at each others' throats (those of you with teenage daughters know what I mean). If anyone wants to send snacks or anything, please do. I'm prepared for this to stretch on for years, or possibly just a couple days. We've named our little occupying force The People's Bible Force of Righteousness and Constitutional Freedom for Patriots. Though I didn't lobby for it, I have reluctantly and humbly accepted the title of Captain. The cats are and will remain in the rank of corporal, but as soon as my dog can demonstrate the ability to get up and walk across the room to his food bowl so I can quit hand feeding him, he's getting promoted to Sergeant.
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