Was Brat worse then we thought?

[BengalPimp]

Bob Bratkowski and his wife, Becky Bratkowski, go to the grocery store:

/Bob and Becky enter the store/

Becky: "Bob, we need hot dog buns, milk, and some of those cracker things you like."

Bob: "Go to the canned goods. Canned goods first, then we have 3 options on how to get to dairy. We read and react, I'll let you know which way to get to dairy once we're in canned goods."

Becky: "But the bread and buns are right in front of us, let's just grab the buns then go get the milk."

Bob: "That's just what they're expecting! Canned goods, then we read the other shoppers and the store personnel, then I audible the route we'll take to dairy. /Looks all around, begins shouting/ "Maple! Maple! Blue Dog! Blue Dog!"

Becky: "Why are you shouting?"

Bob: "We're almost to canned goods. I saw a mother with 3 little kids in the cereal aisle. We're down to 2 options. That end cap with all the Dr. Pepper stacked up looks totally open. Did you read that?"

Becky: "Did I read what?"

Bob: "A fat guy just walked in front of the Dr. Pepper. He's not moving!" /Begins shouting/ "Buchenwald! Treblinka! Auschwitz!"

Becky: "Bob, those are concentration camps. What's going on?"

Bob: /Puts on white lab coat and half glasses/ "The fat guy in front of the Dr. Pepper has blown up our whole scheme. Total re-audible! Jet 41, Elbow, Blaze 9, Blaze 9, Face!"

Becky: "Bob, we're in the custodian's supply closet now. Can we just go get the buns and milk and get out of here?"

Bob: /Scanning large laminated map of store/ "It's so obvious to me now, how could I have missed this? The frozen foods aisle is the key to this whole thing. It connects dairy to bread. But we have to read the restocking guy, if he's in frozen foods look for me to audible."

Becky: "Where did you get a laminated map of the store?"

Bob: "The frozen foods aisle is out, it's been blitzed by a hippie and two old ladies." /Begins furiously leafing through aerial photos of the store/

Becky: "Where did you get aerial photos of Kroger?"

Bob: /Waving arms and shouting/ "Ski slope! Phantom! Strangelove!"

Becky: "Stop shouting, we're almost to the milk. How much of your skim did we have left?"

Bob: "Not much, we need another gallon. There's a spill in front of produce. We can't make it to the checkout aisle. Punt team! Punt team!"

Becky: "Punt team? What are you talking about?"

Bob: "You're right. We haven't even run the reverse yet. Kroger will never expect the reverse!"

Becky: "Ok Bob, just be quiet so we can get through the checkout. I'm definitely driving home. That trip getting here was ridiculous."

Bob: "Audibled right through the field behind Meijer, baby! Totally avoided the nickel hybrid zone at 22nd and Broadway!"

Becky: "You tore the muffler off in that field. That'll be like two hundred bucks."

Bob: "The person in front of us has 14 items in the 10 item lane. Audible! Dentyne, Trident, Hubba Bubba!"

Becky: "You're just reading the gum packs. Do you want gum?"

Bob: "Schnitzel, Jet Go, Max Protect, 44 Slide!"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

and might I add,

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

So great, i had to re-post all of it...Thanks for the much needed Laugh COB....

[Pidge]

Still enjoying your work, COB.

[DC_Bengals_Fan]

The thing that killed me is, how could the verbiage be so damn complicated and the plays so predictable?

And yeah, that was some sick sh*t, COB. Nice work.

[HoosierCat]

Ryan Fitzpatrick through 2 games this season: 45/71 (63.4%), 472 yards, 7 TDs, 1 INT.

To put that in even greater perspective, "Popgun" Fitzpatrick had only 8 TDs in 12 games as a Bengals starter.

Yeah. Brat sucked.

[cincyhokie]

The thing that killed me is, how could the verbiage be so damn complicated and the plays so predictable?

And yeah, that was some sick sh*t, COB. Nice work.

Because we ran the SAME plays for years with players that couldn't execute it well. If Brat would've mixed it up with more of his "system" it could've been worse. Basically, Brat's ego and our players weren't a good mix.

[bengalz4life]

I don't think he's as bad as people make him out to be

[redsbengalsbucks]

I don't think he's as bad as people make him out to be

He is worse!