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fattyjay

Need some advice

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And knowing that she is going to do what SHE wants to do, makes doing right by YOU easier for yourself. DON'T GET CAUGHT UP IN EMOTIONS !!!

There is obviously little to no concern for you in all of this, so take care of yourself.

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Unfortunately, too, I'm afraid the right thing to do is to not get caught up with her kids. It sucks, but you have no claim to them. When I got divorced, my ex-wife wouldn't let me see my step-daughter anymore, and on top of that, told her a bunch of s**t to try to turn her against me. So you gotta just walk away from the whole situation and start your life over again. It really, REALLY sucks, but that's the way it is. I hope it goes better for you than it did for me.

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To bring a lighter note to this topic, i'm pretty sure i'm going to marry the girl i'm with right now. she gives me a feeling i've never felt before and its amazing.

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To bring a lighter note to this topic, i'm pretty sure i'm going to marry the girl i'm with right now. she gives me a feeling i've never felt before and its amazing.

That's awesome Jungle, can I get an invite to the wedding man?

Anyone here have any advice for a custody battle. I'm affraid I have no choice but to sue my ex-fiance for custody. She lets me see my daughter on the days we've agreed to but she still has all the control. I need to get a support order setup. I get my daughter on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Saturday and Sunday. I do not feel like this is enough, I would like to have her at least one more day... As a matter of fact, I would like to have her for a full week then send her back for a full week.

Is it possible for the man to get joint custody these days? I don't do drugs, I have my own house, I work two jobs and I love my daughter more than anything in the world. A guy like me should be able to get shared parenting right? Please don't judge me on the stupid s**t I post here, most of it is BS.

Oh yeah, Jungle, I too have met another girl that is AWESOME. She is probably the smartest, funnest and most beautiful girl I have ever dated. She's only 19 so she keeps me up all night. The best part is that she loves my daughter too.

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To bring a lighter note to this topic, i'm pretty sure i'm going to marry the girl i'm with right now. she gives me a feeling i've never felt before and its amazing.

Congrats Jungle! I have to remind myself sometimes that no matter how much pain I'm going through that wonderful things are happening in other peoples' lives that need to be acknowledged as well. I don't even know you, but I am truly happy for you.

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Anyone here have any advice for a custody battle.

Nope. Hopefully everyone involved remembers they once loved the person on the other side of the break, but far too often one of them sees how using the kids can be a bargaining chip....or a blunt instrument.

Moving on, I've stopped worrying about our boy Fattyjay precisely because he's already saying the types of things it took years for my friend to come to grips with. That staggering waste of time trying to salvage something that was no longer real, rather than accepting the situation for what it is, still boggles my mind. In short, don't waste time or energy on things that don't make you happy because life really is short.

Fatty, you're going to be fine.

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Anyone here have any advice for a custody battle.

Be prepared to spend a lot of money if you do that. You can get shared parenting. I've got it, but you're going to have to get a lawyer and take her ass to court. But until you get a court ordered shared parenting plan, she can deny you visitation and you can't do s**t about it. So if I were you, I'd get a lawyer and let he/she take care of everything and get a court order. I also recommend doing the same with child support. Have them take it straight out of your check. That way you have proof that you're paying it. It's a long, s**tty process, but it's worth it to have your kids as much as you can.

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To bring a lighter note to this topic, i'm pretty sure i'm going to marry the girl i'm with right now. she gives me a feeling i've never felt before and its amazing.

Anyone here have any advice for a custody battle.

Yeah, go talk to attorney Lynn Lampe downtown Hamilton in the Robinson-Schwenn building (where Coffee Depot is on Third and High, I believe). Tell her Greg Stephens sent you. She'll tell you what your realistic options are and how much it'll cost.

Good luck.

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Thank you guys so much... Greg, I work three blocks from the Coffee Depot in Downtown Hamilton. I will contact Lynn ASAP...

Ickey, how much time do you get with your shared parenting plan? Does more time (days you have your child) = less child support? I'm not worried about the money, I would just like to have more money available to spend on my daughter than to give it to the mother to spend.

Fatty, keep truckin' brother. Life goes on.

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Thank you guys so much... Greg, I work three blocks from the Coffee Depot in Downtown Hamilton. I will contact Lynn ASAP...

Ickey, how much time do you get with your shared parenting plan? Does more time (days you have your child) = less child support? I'm not worried about the money, I would just like to have more money available to spend on my daughter than to give it to the mother to spend.

Fatty, keep truckin' brother. Life goes on.

I keep my boys four nights a week, three of those are overnight. Yes, it reduces your child support. Keep in mind though, I'm on the south side of the river, I don't know exactly how the rules are up there. In Kentucky, they're really pushing shared parenting. They want both parents involved, and I agree. Good luck, and let me know how it goes.

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Anyone here have any advice for a custody battle.

Nope. Hopefully everyone involved remembers they once loved the person on the other side of the break, but far too often one of them sees how using the kids can be a bargaining chip....or a blunt instrument.

Moving on, I've stopped worrying about our boy Fattyjay precisely because he's already saying the types of things it took years for my friend to come to grips with. That staggering waste of time trying to salvage something that was no longer real, rather than accepting the situation for what it is, still boggles my mind. In short, don't waste time or energy on things that don't make you happy because life really is short.

Fatty, you're going to be fine.

Thanks for saying those things Hair. I hope I can move on without her in a reasonable amount of time because I do know life is short. It has been a fast couple of weeks, but each day gets a little easier.

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Fatty, I have been through a marriage and divorce that included a step daughter and my oldest son on my part. This was 11 years ago and the girl is now 24 years old. When the court proccedings were finally over I sent the girl, that I had helped raised for almost 10 years, a letter and expressed my step-parental love and concern for her. In this letter I let her know that the situation had nothing to do with her and that if she ever needed any help from me in the future all she needed to do was ask. After that letter I stayed in touch only with the occasional B-day or X-mas card, I had to start my life again and I did not see how I could do that while trying to hold onto that part of my old life. I dedicated myself to improving my life so could become the best father to my son as I could be, found a great woman that I married and had two more little ones that I adore. My life has become much better than I would have ever expected when married to my first wife, but I always felt some guilt about my decision to leave my step-daughter behind. She is now 23 years old and is planning her wedding, in the invite she sent me she thanked me for the love and time that I gave her as a child and told me that she still had the letter I sent her when her mother and I split. Even though she only asked for my help once ( a ride to and from a school function) after the divorce she said that is was a comfort to her growing up to know that if she needed me I would be there for her.

My advice to you is to make sure the kids know it had nothing to do with them.

You need to decide what level of involvement in your ex's life you want ( I wanted nothing to do with my ex, just the my kid)

You also need to decide what level of involvement you want in your step-childrens life.

When you have made these decision, it is time to examine your life and use this experience to improve yourself and become the best man that you can be. If you use this as a growth opportunity, you will find a great and happy life down the road.

Good Luck, it will get better.

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Fatty, I have been through a marriage and divorce that included a step daughter and my oldest son on my part. This was 11 years ago and the girl is now 24 years old. When the court proccedings were finally over I sent the girl, that I had helped raised for almost 10 years, a letter and expressed my step-parental love and concern for her. In this letter I let her know that the situation had nothing to do with her and that if she ever needed any help from me in the future all she needed to do was ask. After that letter I stayed in touch only with the occasional B-day or X-mas card, I had to start my life again and I did not see how I could do that while trying to hold onto that part of my old life. I dedicated myself to improving my life so could become the best father to my son as I could be, found a great woman that I married and had two more little ones that I adore. My life has become much better than I would have ever expected when married to my first wife, but I always felt some guilt about my decision to leave my step-daughter behind. She is now 23 years old and is planning her wedding, in the invite she sent me she thanked me for the love and time that I gave her as a child and told me that she still had the letter I sent her when her mother and I split. Even though she only asked for my help once ( a ride to and from a school function) after the divorce she said that is was a comfort to her growing up to know that if she needed me I would be there for her.

My advice to you is to make sure the kids know it had nothing to do with them.

You need to decide what level of involvement in your ex's life you want ( I wanted nothing to do with my ex, just the my kid)

You also need to decide what level of involvement you want in your step-childrens life.

When you have made these decision, it is time to examine your life and use this experience to improve yourself and become the best man that you can be. If you use this as a growth opportunity, you will find a great and happy life down the road.

Good Luck, it will get better.

RBB- Thanks for the advice. You seem to have some good insight into my situation. I hope I can have the same affect on my step children that you have had on yours!

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Hey, just wanted to give everyone who helped me with this a quick update. Divorce is final, I kept my house, and I am going on a date tonight for the first time since all this started almost a year ago. Thanks again for being around to help me in a very dark time. Things are bright again!

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Hey, just wanted to give everyone who helped me with this a quick update. Divorce is final, I kept my house, and I am going on a date tonight for the first time since all this started almost a year ago. Thanks again for being around to help me in a very dark time. Things are bright again!

After reading through all the advice given, Hair's seemed to be on target. I'm glad things are brighter for you now.

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