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COB last won the day on February 16

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About COB

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  • Birthday 07/06/1962

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  1. Official Joe Burrow Thread

    Ha ha! Our (presumably) first round QB uses his celebrity to inspire people to help the less fortunate. Meanwhile, Cleveland’s first round QB uses his celebrity to get rather dismal blow jobs from fame-awed 20 year-old girls in the parking lot behind a strip mall Cheese Cake Factory.
  2. Official Joe Burrow Thread

    “Joe Burrow should sign on as a sanitation worker in International Falls, Minnesota, rather than play football for the Bengals. He should never go to that city, that city should be enclosed with a giant Trump wall and it’s citizens forced to engage in a Hunger Games killfest until only one person is left, then that person should be starved to death on a nationally broadcast special episode of “Survivor (or not): Hamilton County”. Fuck Cincinnati. PS - I’m tweeting this from the mansion I bought with the millions Mike Brown paid me to play football in Cincinnati.” - Signed, A Shitload of Bitter Old Football Players.
  3. Official Joe Burrow Thread

    Maybe the whole 2020 draft class should be awarded to the Patriots so these oh so very special young people will all have a chance to play for a “winner.” Will that make Carson Palmer happy? Because, above all else, let’s make sure that victim/saint/transcendent talent Carson Palmer is kept satisfied.
  4. Stealers looking for PK

    First of all, fuck the Steelers. As their aging garbage barge of a quarterback descends into irrelevance in the next couple years, our bright, shiny, new QB will be ascending to elite status. Second, the derision and contempt that the Astros are having heaped upon them by their league and competitors, that’s what I want for the Steelers.
  5. Bengals take Burrow but .........

    The Baton Rouge Zoo just announced it is naming its new baby giraffe after Joe Burrow. It’s happening, people.
  6. Bengals take Burrow but .........

    The more abstract the stat, the less objective the measurement, the more Joe Burrow shines. The tangible skills/strengths they assess at the combine? Whatever. That gets you Andy Dalton. If you’ve watched enough football, you know it when you see it. They’re getting better and better at measuring “it,” what they used to call the intangibles. Joe Burrow is a walking intangible.
  7. Bengals take Burrow but .........

    The publisher of Good Housekeeping (print edition) is putting together a package to persuade Mike Brown to trade the Burrow pick. GH (publishing industry jargon) wants Burrow to write a monthly column on using regular household products to clean. Hint - vinegar and lemon juice will be mentioned frequently. Anyhoo, the Brown Family is LISTENING. - signed, NFL media.
  8. Bengals take Burrow but .........

    The elderly Asian couple sitting near me in CBUS gate 49C (6:10 pm to Seattle) are definitely putting together a package to entice Mike Brown to trade the Burrow pick, since Burrow’s dad said something someday, and Burrow did that one thing once so we know he doesn’t want to go to Cincinnati. - signed NFL media.
  9. Bengals take Burrow but .........

    He’s the opposite of Andy under pressure. Nothing personal, love Andy, but that dude went MSP as soon as things got sticky. (Modified Stationary Panic).
  10. The parking lot behind the Cheesecake Factory, huh?
  11. Bengals take Burrow but .........

    The cool demeanor under pressure. The cockiness, the cigar after the Natti. Joe Burrow is a modern day Joe Namath. And he’s all ours! All ours, I tell you! Bwaa Ha Ha!!
  12. 2020 Offseason Roster Moves

    Holy shit, dude won an academy award! Congratulations on this impressive accomplishment!
  13. 2020 Draft

    No tackle until the 7th round? The neighbor’s dog will be in for a good kicking.
  14. 2020 Draft

    Burrow and don’t listen to any offers, unless we get Pat Mahomes and a new owner.
  15. Bengals take Burrow but .........

    Oh my god, looked what happened to Rich Eisen. He used to be a respected journalist.