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  1. 5 points
    *movie trailer voice* In a world where the Cincinnati Bengals successfully cover the tight end
  2. 5 points
    Run defense has a lot to do with effort. This team has quit listening to Marvin's message. He's lost this locker room. The total lack of accountability (not sitting Bodine or Ogobuechi, not replacing Nugent) has tainted the locker room. Fortunately, the new coaching staff are going to have: * two high draft picks with a lot of promise that have never played a snap. (Jackson, Billings) * some really talented pieces (Dalton, AJ, Eifert, RBs, OGs, Atkins, Dunlap, Burfict?) * a high draft pick position * a backup QB with some trade value * some cap room with all of the old dead wood that will be leaving (kicker, D Line, Center, DB) I think this team played better when they bought into Marvin's message and Gruden and Zimmer (two current head coaches) were the coordinators. Their replacements aren't nearly as good. Maybe they covered up some of ML's deficiencies?
  3. 4 points
    There is a very good reason for that. Dalton’s performance in games other fans might have seen, like nationally televised games and playoff games, was absolutely, almost unbelievably, horrible. It was hard to believe the same guy we’d watch carve up Baltimore in a regular season game, could play as badly as he did in nationally televised games. Again, and again, and again.
  4. 4 points
    I logged back in today to make this comment and will step back away... I believe in the philosophy that "If you don't have a franchise QB, you try to get one". Well.... That is exactly where we find ourselves and sitting at the #1 spot allows us to take the best shot. Take it. Don't be a pussy. Make the selection and move forward. The rookie wage scale makes it possible to swing and miss without it crushing the franchise for the next 7 years. A true franchise QB can make everything else around them better, so if they swing and hit, the payoff is massive. Someone can argue all they want about whether Joe Burrow is the best QB in the draft, but i'm not that guy. I believe him to be the clear #1 QB in the class and fully deserving of being the Bengals pick at #1. Just take Burrow and move on to addressing how the organization can actually use free agency to help build around him. Also cannot forget having the top pick in the other rounds as well. USE THEM WISELY. That being said, much like the last Bengals related post I made, I still do not believe they care enough. For that reason I have not given much thought to anything they have done and won't until closer to the draft. Will it to happen Mem. I'm with you. WILL THAT SHIT !!! Later...
  5. 4 points
    Billy essentially IS Bengalzone. I’ve spent around half of my life contributing to this board in some capacity, and he has always been its spiritual foundation. Rest easy, Boobiemeister.
  6. 4 points
    Very sad news indeed. Billy has been a huge part of this board since as long as I've been here and the one that asked me to be a moderator all those years ago. Him and I had a chance to meet up a while back at the Hofbrauhaus in Newport. I found the pic here, but it wouldn't let me pull it up. We sat at the bar together, had lunch, drank beers and shot the shit about our beloved Bengals and all other matters we could think of. It was like sitting down with someone I knew my whole life. When I was deployed to Afghanistan, he sent me music and movies on CD. Most notable from that group was a copy of the Bengals and Chargers playing in the freezer bowl. I still have all of the stuff he sent to me. He was also my brother in arms in being a proud Marine !!! I will say a prayer for our friend and also keep his family in our thoughts and prayers through the Holiday season. I am very saddened by the loss of Billy. Rest in Peace my brother !!! Mark
  7. 4 points
    "Training camp starts this week ?? Does Wal-Mart's equate brand make a comparable Gatorade ??"
  8. 4 points
  9. 4 points
    We are headed out on vacation and when we were at the Cincinnati airport, we ran into John Ross. Was super cool with my son and we got a great pic with him. Funny thing is, the people around us were like, who is that guy ?? My son is still amped up. Good guy !!
  10. 4 points
    Love it. Haters can bite me. That is all.
  11. 4 points
    Now I remember why I avoid this board for months after the draft.
  12. 4 points
    His teams play, durability, selfless attitude, oh, and he was clearly the best running back on the team. i would have given him a 4 year deal with escalators for downs played. He's basically Peerman but better.
  13. 4 points
    In regards to dumping Pac Man, this draft is packed full of CB's and bet there will still be quality into the 4th round. Just move on and don't look back. Buh Bye.
  14. 4 points
  15. 4 points
    Merry Christmas from my family to yours! I have decided to call myself Jolly Old St. Who Dey. Not pictured: My Bengals socks.
  16. 3 points
    "When the time comes, I'll be in the best shape to play my best ball this year no matter what happens. The best shape of my life." I like how he emphasized, "The best shape of my life". I'm really looking forward to watching this team play this season unlike any season I can remember is a God awful amount of time. I wish Billy was here to enjoy this with us !!!
  17. 3 points
    So again, if the knock on Higgins is his speed, lets make a fair comparison: Higgins reported 40 time was 4.54 AJ Green- 4.50 Michael Thomas- 4.57 Deandre Hopkins- 4.57 Mike Evans- 4.53 Julio Jones- 4.39 OBJ- 4.43 Antonio Brown- 4.47 Keenan Allen- 4.75 Tyreek Hill- 4.2 something ridiculous Davante Adams- 4.56 Juju Smith Schuster- 4.54 So in looking at what is widely considered to be the best 10 WR's from last year and their 40 times coming out of college, i'm still confused on why the knock on Higgins. Outside of the outliers like Tyreek (super fast) and Allen (super slow), you are left with an average of 4.50. (I left out AJ as well, since he was simply included because he's a Bengal). It seems utterly ridiculous to see the criticism of his speed, when he seems right on par with some of the best in the league. Making contested catches is his specialty and it's not like you can coach someone into being 6'4, 215lbs. either. He caught 27 TD's during his time at Clemson, which is tied for first and his 13TD's last season were only behind Hopkins for a single season. THIS is what he does. Goes up, makes plays, and scores TD's. Must suck to add a guy like that to the roster huh ?? Then again, Joe Burrow might have something to say about that...
  18. 3 points
    The camera starts with only the back of my head in frame. Then it recedes, showing me sitting in my evil genius laboratory, I’m monitoring 7 computer screens, all running proprietary algorithms analyzing all things Bengals, from Burrow’s 4th quarter velocity to the transmission fluid temperature in Katie’s Lexus. Around the computers, high voltage arcs from Tesla Coils, crackling and spitting, jump 20 feet across the room. I turn in my chair, the camera re-zooms, my embittered, thousand-yard stare face fills the frame. In a voice heavy with the gravitas and pain that comes from living the life of a Bengals fan, I say, “It all comes down to Fred Johnson.”
  19. 3 points
    Ha ha! Our (presumably) first round QB uses his celebrity to inspire people to help the less fortunate. Meanwhile, Cleveland’s first round QB uses his celebrity to get rather dismal blow jobs from fame-awed 20 year-old girls in the parking lot behind a strip mall Cheese Cake Factory.
  20. 3 points
    Can’t draft Burrow. Character issues:
  21. 3 points
    I will always remember where I was and what I was doing the day Randy Bullock set the franchise kick record.
  22. 3 points
    A boy receives a gift from a Boomer A helmet of stripes and a rumor That he'd be a Bengal not a year sooner With a frown he looked down At least, he mused, it's not Brown Sunny Miami, a new day arrives The Red Rifle powers multiple drives With his teammates he enjoys his high fives But the fans look on through tears For this victory confirmed all of their fears And the boy bought his Florida home He was going to have a practice dome! His girlfriend rests outside in the warm midnight gloam The stripes were memories and jokes Bless the Bengals for ensuring this hoax
  23. 3 points
    What a fucking clown show.
  24. 3 points
    The whole Steelers team could be concussed and we’d still lose this game.
  25. 3 points
    Noo, gotta keep the dream alive. 0-16 or bust.
  26. 3 points
    This is why not trading AJ for another first round selection was such a disaster. This issue could be solved with more picks in this draft. Of course I have zero faith in the Bengals front office to do something with those picks, so....we are screwed until Brown hires a general manager from outside the organization and ponies up for a professional scouting Dept. Until that happens this is all moot.
  27. 3 points
    Sorry Dalton, but cry me a river. You were a good decent QB for the Bengals. Great to the fans. Didn't get it done, period. Who cares what he agrees with or how he feels? He choked away winnable playoff games in 2013 (Chargers) and 2014 (Colts). The organization awarded him with a contract extension in Spring 2014. His best season ended unfairly to him in 2015. But this organizations loyalty to him has them holding the bag of a mediocre QB that simply will never win with this organization given the current talent level. The Bengals loyalty to Marvin and Dalton has cost them chances at players that look like generational talents at the position Watson, Mahomes, and Lamar Jackson. If the 9ers can boot Joe Montana then sorry Dalton.
  28. 3 points
    "What was this trade deadline thing I heard about recently"? "Did I miss an opportunity to increase my stock in Werther's again"? "There's just something about those hard candies that makes me.... Hey I forgot to write a check to the icebox repair man".
  29. 3 points
    Memo From: Mike Brown To: Marvin Lewis Marvin, just wanted to let you know that we've received the various emails and communique' you have transmitted regarding the halftime Monkey Rodeo we employ every year. The feelings you and your wife have expressed, that the show is nothing more than animal abuse and should be stopped, is not shared by myself or me or Mike Brown (I). You are correct that the show, in its simplest recitation, could be described as stuffing a few Capuchin monkeys in little western outfits, strapping them to the backs of border collies, and sending them on a terrifying, helter skelter ride at speeds up to 30 miles per hour, all in front of a screaming horde of half intoxicated NFL fans. I give you all that. But so what? It's well received by those fans. I investigated your claim regarding Tim Lepard, the man that brings the monkey rodeo to Cincinnati every year. And you are correct, his show's other engagements consist of very low level minor league baseball games, county fairs, and yes, unfortunately, a good number of motorcycle rallies. Marvin, let me point out to you the clientele at those affairs are the same subset of the population that comes to our stadium. You know I share your utter contempt for most of the drunken cretins that attend our games. We're staging nothing more than a modern-day gladiator battle out there every other Sunday, complete with broken bones, maimings, and blood lust. Who do you think we're attracting? This type of low-brow, dimwitted monkey show is right on their level. It's kind of our way of saying, "Hey look, drunken clerk from the car parts store, monkeys in cowboy outfits riding on dogs!" Come to think of it, it's not our way of paraphrasing that. That's exactly what we're saying! Your point that we are "cheaping out" on the halftime show, just because the Rams are staging halftime concerts with the latest Instagram L.A. pop starlet, and the Browns are leaning on the Cleveland Rock and Roll angle to stage heavy acid rock freak-outs at halftime, is not well received here in the upstairs suites at Paul Brown Stadium. By God, if it's good enough for the Wilmington Blue Rocks and the Erie Seawolves, it's good enough for the Cincinnati Bengals! And I checked, although it doesn't matter in the least, you are correct in that we spend about a tenth of what other NFL franchises spend on halftime entertainment. So what? At least we're spending something. Keep complaining Marvin, do you really want to see my next move? Because we'll go back to a rousing show from the Elder High School Marching Band, followed by a swearing in ceremony for the local crop of ROTC candidates. God bless America! Think our fans won't eat that up with a spoon? Damn right they will. Thanks, Mike PS - Good try there on Sunday night, thought we had a chance for a while. Keep up the good work.
  30. 3 points
    Just dropping by to say that the Steelers are alone in last place.
  31. 3 points
    Having had a short night to reflect (couldn't sleep, stayed up to drink in an as much ESPN and NFL network as I could since I couldn't sleep and was anticipating a happy day at work amongst all the Ravens fans...), the following:1. I absolutely will not kill them for the play selections to end the first half. I have railed for years that Marvin is too conservative there, I will not get mad at him for allowing them to try and put foot on throat. Execute better next time, but keep trying to score. That's how you get ready to win playoff games and other big games, frankly.2. The Lazor offense is a joy to watch. So creative, not just at scheming guys open, but in protecting Andy and maximizing the effectiveness of the line.3. Cool to see what Green looks like with help and someone to move him around in various sets. He is uncoverable in man in that scenario, and if they do double cover him, it makes the other weapons that much more effective.4. Uzomah looks like Eifert's replacement in real time. 5. Mixon looks like the real deal to me for sure, putting the ball and team on his back in 4th quarter for that last drive to go up eight and then to set up the clinching field goal felt right. 6. Tyler Boyd is a legit weapon. Once they start sprinkling Ross in more effectively, I see no reason for them to take their foot off the gas at any point.7. Gotta give Austin credit, that defense does look like it is trying for turnovers at all times. That's a nice change. And, while we are at it, loved the aggressiveness from Austin on the blitz call that resulted in the Williams forced fumble and recovery late in the 4th. Guenther would have had them in a shell. 8. Big kicks from Bullock again, he has earned my trust. Wish he had a bigger leg, but nice to be able to count on him when they need him.9. NO sacks allowed by the offensive line. That's quite something, considering what everyone expected and feared heading into the game...Thrilled with this start to the season. Just huge. It was fun to watch the national narrative shift in real time last night...
  32. 3 points
    That sounds like a fun road trip, especially the leaving bmore part. Have fun at camp.
  33. 3 points
    Who is this "Alexander" you are referencing ?? Talk about a name that should never be uttered again in these parts.
  34. 3 points
    For those interested in linguistics, the above is pronounced IfOnlyIHadntArrivedatThePointOfTackle OhSoLate-ee In our next installment, we will discuss what the Shazor Train is and why you shouldnt board it
  35. 3 points
    With Elliot making the practice squad, this is kind of the best of both worlds. I'm happy. In the end, though, it doesn't really matter. All we're really deciding is which kicker is going to miss the game-winning field goal in the round 1 of the playoffs.
  36. 3 points
    Anything but OL! Don't break the seal!
  37. 3 points
    Haha Get Mike Brown Out of the Draft Room (GMBODR) 2k17
  38. 3 points
    This kid is going to do GREAT things in Cincinnati until injuries derail him and he leaves in FA after four years.
  39. 3 points
    From "The White Star Zone", the public relations publication of the White Star Line, owners of the Titanic, written by White Star Line public relations chief Geoffor Hoobsin: "Most people don't know enough about shipping to realize that missing icebergs results in having to spend a lot on fuel to complete the journey. Also, if you miss icebergs, you are sacrificing a lot of insurance claims you could be making. Additionally, having your ship complete its journey without hitting an iceberg really is overrated. 50% of the time you end up getting sued by various passengers, harbor fees you didn't foresee pop up, union trouble, the list goes on. People act like just because our Chief Navigator, Pole Alexundster, has steered our last 4 ships right into icebergs, we should look for a new navigator. That's not how the White Star Line works. We're loyal to our employees. Mr. Alexundster has two years left on his contract and we will honor that commitment. Our next ship is scheduled to leave New York City for a 5 day cruise straight to the bottom of the North Atlantic, or Dublin Ireland, no way to tell just now, but anyway the ship is completely booked, so we're doing something right."
  40. 3 points
    Yup. The only reason they quit trying to reanimate the corpse of 2005 was that after 2010 Palmer quit.
  41. 3 points
    Green injured. Eifert injured. Bernard injured. Burfict suspended and injured. New coaching staff. Loss of Jones and Sanu. Growing pains of Oogie Boogie. Several losses in the 4th quarter. Hobson is already writing his spin for 2017 on how this "should have been" a 10-6 team. Sigh.
  42. 3 points
    Too busy in my life to let football get out of it's proper order spending too much time beyond watching the games, but the problem with this franchise is real simple, actually. There is only one constant with this franchise since 1991, the year he took over, Mike Brown. Coincidentally, they have not won a playoff game since then, let alone made a SB appearance. Coaches and players have come and gone and the only coach that may have made a difference was fired by Brown the year he was handed the baton. (Sam Wyche) Nothing will change until he passes the baton on to someone else, and even then, it's no guarantee depending on who ends up with the baton! Pick apart and analyze all you want until the cows come home, but it is, what it is! No 'fix' until/when he steps down!
  43. 3 points
    His call sign is "Doink One".
  44. 3 points
    Just not a playoff team this year without some pretty dramatic improvement on both sides of the ball. Right now I'm having a hard time seeing the potential on this team to be any better than the 1-and-out pretenders they've always been. Let too much talent go, and got no impact from the last 2 drafts = deteriorating team. They just can't hang with good teams on the road at all, they get handled easily, and don't have enough to overcome their constant discipline problems with penalties and a relatively poor coaching staff.
  45. 3 points
    Good complimentary rushes on all parts by the D-line. Some of the fastest sacks I've seen. Sack 1 - Dolphins line up shotgun with a 3 WR stack up top, 1 WR to the bottom, 1 RB to Dunlap's side. Bengals show double A gap blitz, at the snap of the ball the LBs back out into zone. This puts 4 Bengals in coverage towards the 3 dolphin targets up top. All Tannehill could do is stare at it and cry. Dunlap beats RT, Will Clarke gets pressure jumps and Dunlap knocks the ball out. Fumble recovered by Peko. Key was the LB backing out of the A gap blitz and they had a 4 person zone on 3 targets. Tannehill froze. Sack 2 - Dolphin in shotgun, Empty (not a good idea). Bengals show double A gap blitz, back out of it pre snap. Margus Hunt draws the double team leaving Atkins 1 on 1 and it was over quickly. Might have been the quickest sack I've ever seen. MJ beat his TE blocking rather quickly to get a .5 sack. Sack 3 - Dolphins in shotgun, 3 wide up top, 1 wide at the bottom, 1 RB. Bengals rush 4. Dolphins zone block (guessing) Dunlap jumps inside the tackle and the guard can't get over quick enough. Sack. Sack 4 - Dolphins in shotgun. 2 wide up top, 1 bottom, 1 TE, 1 RB. Bengals straight 4 rush. Will Clarke chipped by TE, TE releases and tackle can't pick him up, sack. Sack 5 - Dolphins in shotgun. Bengals rush 4. Margus and Atkins line up in 3 techs. Run a twist at the snap. Margus crushes A gap, draws double team and gets good push Atkins goes over the top and ends up 1 on1 with RG, sack. Really surprised to see Margus getting double teamed leaving Atkins 1 on 1 in both his sacks.
  46. 3 points
    We go to the Bengals film room: Paul Alexander sits in a large overstuffed club chair. A snifter of brandy in his left hand, he strokes his beard thoughtfully. His elbow-patched blazer has a distinctive herringbone pattern to it. "Roll the tape, Felicia," he says in a slightly British accent. Felicia rolls the tape. Bengals center Russel Bodine snaps the football, and is trampled by half the Steelers defensive squad as they unleash an all-out assault on the Bengals' backfield. "My God, he's brilliant. His footwork, his arm positioning. He's sublime," says Alexander, stroking his beard, again, thoughtfully. "Roll another one, Felicia." Felicia rolls another one. Bengals center Russel Bodine snaps the football. As he tries to stand up to pass protect, a Ravens defensive tackle trucks him, then steps on his face as he terrorizes Andy Dalton into throwing an incompletion. "Breathtaking. He's a virtuoso. Michelangelo sculpts, Leonardo paints, Bach composes, and Russell Bodine blocks. I'm afraid I'm overcome. (begins to cry) Felicia, don't roll another one until I can compose myself. My god!"
  47. 3 points
    It's never going to end. Hell, just wait until the first game between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati next season. It's a lock to be a primetime game and I guarantee you the promos for it will be 100% Dirty Burfict, Dirty Burfict, Dirty Burfict. And it will draw postseason-caliber ratings as people tune into see Burfict decapitate someone (which he will) allowing the media to go into holier-than-thou overdrive and the league to tut-tut and the network to make plans to flex the second Bengals-Steelers gang fight into prime time in December.
  48. 3 points
    Sounds rough, but I'll be roughing it as well. We keep our house about 70, but I'll be watching the game Saturday night in the basement, which stays about SIXTY SEVEN DEGREES!!I That's cold, I might need a blanky. I'm not happy to be watching it down there, the upstairs is better for sure. But someone had to take a stand against the tyrannical rule of my wife. So I stepped up to the plate. That's right, I'm occupying our basement and am in the midst of a standoff. The time was now to take a stand, so I've done it. I'm not alone either. Both our cats come down here frequently, and my doberman who is trying sort of unsuccessfully to recover from surgery is down here too. On a scale of 1-10, his personal protection capabilities have deteriorated to about a 1. But his skills at laying around in a daze have sharpened considerably. And when it comes to seeping gross fluid from his infected incision, he's an absolute 10. Nobody does it better. Attempts on my part to end this standoff peacefully have so far been rebuffed. When informed by an intermediary that I was committed to laying around in the basement until changes are made, my wife played the old, "how is it a standoff when you're just doing what you always do," strategy. I should have seen that one coming. It's all about basement use, and if my wife thinks me and my half-dead dog are going to take it lying down while she pretty much takes over the whole basement with laundry drying racks, those shelves my sister gave us that we store cans and boxes of food on, and 8, count 'em, 8 old dining room chairs that we don't know what to do with since we bought our new ones, well, I guess now she knows that she's got another thing coming! This basement is for watching Bengals games on the giant TV she told me not to buy but I bought anyway, it's for hanging up my 3' x 5' Bengals flag on game days, it's for me and the dog to escape to when the women in our house are at each others' throats (those of you with teenage daughters know what I mean). If anyone wants to send snacks or anything, please do. I'm prepared for this to stretch on for years, or possibly just a couple days. We've named our little occupying force The People's Bible Force of Righteousness and Constitutional Freedom for Patriots. Though I didn't lobby for it, I have reluctantly and humbly accepted the title of Captain. The cats are and will remain in the rank of corporal, but as soon as my dog can demonstrate the ability to get up and walk across the room to his food bowl so I can quit hand feeding him, he's getting promoted to Sergeant.
  49. 3 points
    I took my 5-year old to see it and it was one of the greatest parenting moments of my life. She's been watching the original trilogy since she was 4 and is well-versed in the story/characters. To see her face as the opening sequence played was something magical. She could hardly sit still the entire time. On the way out of the theater, she grabbed my hand, kissed it, and said, "I'm glad I have a Daddy like you". Seriously kid? She knows how to pull all my strings. If she asks for a car next week, I'll likely say yes. As for the movie itself, I thought it was a lot of fun. Yeah, you can nitpick it and a lot of people are. But, any problems you want to point out with this one can be found in the original trilogy as well. The originals have been glorified so much, people seem to forget that they have poor character development, plot holes, bad acting, etc. But, it doesn't matter...Star Wars movies aren't meant to be arthouse cinema. It's a fun sci-fi romp with amazing special effects. Enjoy it for what it is, folks, and remember what it is to be a kid again.
  50. 3 points
    God help us!!! I'm going tomorrow, just took delivery of a new Bengals shirt specially for the gathering
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