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  1. 5 points
    *movie trailer voice* In a world where the Cincinnati Bengals successfully cover the tight end
  2. 5 points
    Run defense has a lot to do with effort. This team has quit listening to Marvin's message. He's lost this locker room. The total lack of accountability (not sitting Bodine or Ogobuechi, not replacing Nugent) has tainted the locker room. Fortunately, the new coaching staff are going to have: * two high draft picks with a lot of promise that have never played a snap. (Jackson, Billings) * some really talented pieces (Dalton, AJ, Eifert, RBs, OGs, Atkins, Dunlap, Burfict?) * a high draft pick position * a backup QB with some trade value * some cap room with all of the old dead wood that will be leaving (kicker, D Line, Center, DB) I think this team played better when they bought into Marvin's message and Gruden and Zimmer (two current head coaches) were the coordinators. Their replacements aren't nearly as good. Maybe they covered up some of ML's deficiencies?
  3. 4 points
    I think Billy would next have posted a pic of Ms Cates with her, uhm, upper half uncovered We're still thinking about you Billy
  4. 4 points
    Cris Crocker, who on November 20th, 2008, knocked Santonio Holmes into the shadow realm, then stared down the Steelers' sideline? All in retaliation for the cheap shot 5 weeks earlier that Hines Ward laid on Rivers, breaking his jaw? That Cris Crocker? The guy who finally stood up to the Steelers bullying and said "enough"? Yea, I've heard of him.
  5. 4 points
    There is a very good reason for that. Dalton’s performance in games other fans might have seen, like nationally televised games and playoff games, was absolutely, almost unbelievably, horrible. It was hard to believe the same guy we’d watch carve up Baltimore in a regular season game, could play as badly as he did in nationally televised games. Again, and again, and again.
  6. 4 points
    I logged back in today to make this comment and will step back away... I believe in the philosophy that "If you don't have a franchise QB, you try to get one". Well.... That is exactly where we find ourselves and sitting at the #1 spot allows us to take the best shot. Take it. Don't be a pussy. Make the selection and move forward. The rookie wage scale makes it possible to swing and miss without it crushing the franchise for the next 7 years. A true franchise QB can make everything else around them better, so if they swing and hit, the payoff is massive. Someone can argue all they want about whether Joe Burrow is the best QB in the draft, but i'm not that guy. I believe him to be the clear #1 QB in the class and fully deserving of being the Bengals pick at #1. Just take Burrow and move on to addressing how the organization can actually use free agency to help build around him. Also cannot forget having the top pick in the other rounds as well. USE THEM WISELY. That being said, much like the last Bengals related post I made, I still do not believe they care enough. For that reason I have not given much thought to anything they have done and won't until closer to the draft. Will it to happen Mem. I'm with you. WILL THAT SHIT !!! Later...
  7. 4 points
    Billy essentially IS Bengalzone. I’ve spent around half of my life contributing to this board in some capacity, and he has always been its spiritual foundation. Rest easy, Boobiemeister.
  8. 4 points
    Very sad news indeed. Billy has been a huge part of this board since as long as I've been here and the one that asked me to be a moderator all those years ago. Him and I had a chance to meet up a while back at the Hofbrauhaus in Newport. I found the pic here, but it wouldn't let me pull it up. We sat at the bar together, had lunch, drank beers and shot the shit about our beloved Bengals and all other matters we could think of. It was like sitting down with someone I knew my whole life. When I was deployed to Afghanistan, he sent me music and movies on CD. Most notable from that group was a copy of the Bengals and Chargers playing in the freezer bowl. I still have all of the stuff he sent to me. He was also my brother in arms in being a proud Marine !!! I will say a prayer for our friend and also keep his family in our thoughts and prayers through the Holiday season. I am very saddened by the loss of Billy. Rest in Peace my brother !!! Mark
  9. 4 points
    "Training camp starts this week ?? Does Wal-Mart's equate brand make a comparable Gatorade ??"
  10. 4 points
  11. 4 points
    We are headed out on vacation and when we were at the Cincinnati airport, we ran into John Ross. Was super cool with my son and we got a great pic with him. Funny thing is, the people around us were like, who is that guy ?? My son is still amped up. Good guy !!
  12. 4 points
    Love it. Haters can bite me. That is all.
  13. 4 points
    Now I remember why I avoid this board for months after the draft.
  14. 4 points
    His teams play, durability, selfless attitude, oh, and he was clearly the best running back on the team. i would have given him a 4 year deal with escalators for downs played. He's basically Peerman but better.
  15. 4 points
    In regards to dumping Pac Man, this draft is packed full of CB's and bet there will still be quality into the 4th round. Just move on and don't look back. Buh Bye.
  16. 4 points
  17. 4 points
    Merry Christmas from my family to yours! I have decided to call myself Jolly Old St. Who Dey. Not pictured: My Bengals socks.
  18. 3 points
    Yeah, with this workout any hope of Marshall falling to us at #38 have been dashed. I feel much better about Chase/Leatherwood than I do about Sewell/Moore (Elijah or Rondale). I would love the following guys to the Bengals at #38... Leatherwood, Cosmi, Jenkins, Davis, Vera-Tucker (unlikely), Darrisaw (also unlikely), Radunz, Little, Eichenberg, or Dickerson. There is no chance that one or more of those guys are not available to us at #38 and any of them would start immediately at RG. Sure Sewell is a great prospect, probably the best left tackle prospect I have ever seen but Chase is likely also the best WR prospect I have seen since Calvin Johnson and the instant rapport with Burrow is too good to pass up. BTW I believe the best non-QB prospect in this draft is actually Kyle Pitts but I also believe he will go at #4 to Atlanta barring someone trading up for a QB. There are 10 first round graded OLinemen in this draft AFTER Sewell and Slater go....that is incredible and unheard of. On top of that, I also think Meinerz, Hudson, Carmen, Mayfield, and Humphery are also starting grade players. You end up with Chase, Leatherwood, and Meinerz or Humphrey in the first three rounds it almost doesn't matter what the rest of the draft looks like, you have won. BTW Jenkins is my favorite of the #38 pool but I believe he will be long gone by #38, Leatherwood or Radunz would make a fine consolation prize.
  19. 3 points
  20. 3 points
    Much more than a swap, that’s for sure. Gio’s 771 combined yards were his most since 2017 and his 6 TDS were the most since 2014, his second year. And he caught a career-high 79.7% of balls thrown his way. I’m in no rush to see him leave.
  21. 3 points
    Here's what is SUPER annoying. They've got the money - they were outbid by just a bit on Rankins on Sunday at DT. Which means I go back to them getting outbid for what was a reasonable contract that Zeitler took in Baltimore. If they've got Zeitler at RG to go with Reiff at RT - that was what the doctor ordered. They keep missing on shit like this. So close, so far.
  22. 3 points
    Even if he had the rock he would likely wish for better creamed corn or maybe TJ's Grandma....doubtful he would wish for anything football related.
  23. 3 points
    The Monolith speaks! Oh happy day! Blessed are we, who know not how hard it is to run an NFL franchise! BAM! Right oughta the gate. Whose fault is all this? Why, OURS of course! See? See how hard it is to run an NFL franchise? We gave you all what you wanted and it's been a fukking disaster! Maybe we should just buy tickets and STFU, right guys? "Bright and energetic" is how kindergarten teachers refer to particularly precocious children. Seriously, have you ever been referred to as "bright and energetic" in a performance review or any adult situation? What foundation? As Zim ranted about on the OITNB vid I posted earlier, what is this team's identity? It has none. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you "want" to win. In the same way I "want" to win the lotto. And I don't buy tickets. And you know what? So has every other team in the league!!! OK, not every team has drafted a young QB in the last two years, but the draft? FA? Every team does this! This is not an accomplishment, this is just the basics of your job! It's like describing your own success by starting with, "in the last two years, I have gotten out of bed, got dressed and driven to work many times." Just like last season. And the season before that. And the season before that. Etcetera, etcetera. And unless Mike has that magic wishing rock from Wonder Woman 1984 up his sleeve, 2021 will be the same too, because injuries happen every year and "missed opportunities" ought to be the team's motto. Why should we expect the same players and coaches who have not been able to stay healthy or not miss opportunities to change? Again, this is not an accomplishment! Lots and lots of people face adversity and put in hard work every single day all over the world. Good. So will every other team in the league. Again, this is not a strategy! This is what...every...team...does. Why? Why are you confident? What in the last 30 years of doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results has you convinced that this time, you really will kick that football, Mike (Charlie) Brown? Yes, and so must every other business concern in existence if they want to stay in existence. Except wait, you don't! You can field 50 random people pulled from the stands every week for 16 weeks and still be profitable because of NFL-wide TV revenue sharing! You don't have to do a gawd damned thing! Son of a beach, I think we've figured it all out! And if we don't we'll just update and re-issue this same statement again!
  24. 3 points
    “You can only look at your hot water heater for so long.” - Jim Turner What he meant to say was “you can only look at your hot water heater for so long (until you realize itwould give Bobby Hart a pretty good run for his money at the right tackle spot).”
  25. 3 points
    So again, if the knock on Higgins is his speed, lets make a fair comparison: Higgins reported 40 time was 4.54 AJ Green- 4.50 Michael Thomas- 4.57 Deandre Hopkins- 4.57 Mike Evans- 4.53 Julio Jones- 4.39 OBJ- 4.43 Antonio Brown- 4.47 Keenan Allen- 4.75 Tyreek Hill- 4.2 something ridiculous Davante Adams- 4.56 Juju Smith Schuster- 4.54 So in looking at what is widely considered to be the best 10 WR's from last year and their 40 times coming out of college, i'm still confused on why the knock on Higgins. Outside of the outliers like Tyreek (super fast) and Allen (super slow), you are left with an average of 4.50. (I left out AJ as well, since he was simply included because he's a Bengal). It seems utterly ridiculous to see the criticism of his speed, when he seems right on par with some of the best in the league. Making contested catches is his specialty and it's not like you can coach someone into being 6'4, 215lbs. either. He caught 27 TD's during his time at Clemson, which is tied for first and his 13TD's last season were only behind Hopkins for a single season. THIS is what he does. Goes up, makes plays, and scores TD's. Must suck to add a guy like that to the roster huh ?? Then again, Joe Burrow might have something to say about that...
  26. 3 points
    Ha ha! Our (presumably) first round QB uses his celebrity to inspire people to help the less fortunate. Meanwhile, Cleveland’s first round QB uses his celebrity to get rather dismal blow jobs from fame-awed 20 year-old girls in the parking lot behind a strip mall Cheese Cake Factory.
  27. 3 points
    Can’t draft Burrow. Character issues:
  28. 3 points
    STATEMENT FROM ROGER GOODELL, GOD-KING OF THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE “Earlier this week, the League was made aware of allegations of illegal sideline filming by the New England Patriots. Normally, such a repeat violation of the rules would be met with harsh punishment. However, since the offense was made against the Cincinnati Bengals, who are only an NFL team by a strict reading of League bylaws, we are going to let this one slide. We will be fining Bengals head coach Zac Taylor $10,000 for disclosing the existence of the investigation and linebacker Vontaze Burfict $15,000 just because. In conclusion, all hail Me, Roger Goodell, God-King of the National Football League.”
  29. 3 points
    Better to hold him back, make sure he gets totally healthy. For that matter, hold the whole starting defense out, let them heal.
  30. 3 points
    Mea Culpa,. I am high functioning autistic so detecting sarcasm for me is very nearly impossible under normal circumstances....on a forum post, no chance.
  31. 3 points
    The whole Steelers team could be concussed and we’d still lose this game.
  32. 3 points
    Just dropping by to say that the Steelers are alone in last place.
  33. 3 points
    That sounds like a fun road trip, especially the leaving bmore part. Have fun at camp.
  34. 3 points
    Happy Independence Day !!! Because freedom bitches !!!
  35. 3 points
    For those interested in linguistics, the above is pronounced IfOnlyIHadntArrivedatThePointOfTackle OhSoLate-ee In our next installment, we will discuss what the Shazor Train is and why you shouldnt board it
  36. 3 points
    They care about something. They truly don't care about what we care about. Won't pay Reggie Nelson so they replace him with half the player, Williams. Won't pay Whit, so we get Ogbuehi. Won't pay Zeitler, so we get revolving cast of characters. Won't pay Marvin Jones, so we get Ross, er, Boyd, er, whoever we can find on a rookie deal. Won't pay Mohammad Sanu, so we get anyone on a rookie deal, again. Truly, the new CBA and the incredible incentive it gave cheap owners to play youngsters on their first contracts - Mike used that just like we suspected he would. No team is all veterans. But Mike is pretty good at keeping cheap vets who are glad to have a job, like Peko, and letting guys who'll earn significant cash on their second deal walk out the door.
  37. 3 points
    Happy turkey day BZ'ers! Hard to believe it's been 13 years since joining.
  38. 3 points
    This kid is going to do GREAT things in Cincinnati until injuries derail him and he leaves in FA after four years.
  39. 3 points
  40. 3 points
    The scene - a secret room, deep in the bowels of PBS. A disheveled old man stares at a wall filled with a collection of photos, clipped headlines, and handwritten notes. Push pins and yarn connect various facets of the board to other parts. An unflitered cigarette hangs from the old man's lips. A much younger but much dumber looking man sits in a chair and watches the old man while he stares at the board, occasionally moving a picture here, a headline there. Finally, the younger man speaks, "Mike, you haven't slept in 72 hours, and you're living off coffee and the greenies we took from Pete Rose's personal stash from Riverfront. Take a break, man." The old man grimaces, and says, "Paul, you're my line coach, not my Doctor. I'm close here, I'm close. This is the culmination of fifty years of work. So shut the fuck up." The younger man leans back in his chair, resignation is very apparent on his crushingly stupid looking face. The old man suddenly gasps. He falls to his knees, hands on the side of his head, "My God! I've got it! I should have seen it 8 years ago!" The young man leans forward, "You've got what Mike? Don't tell me you've cracked the code, don't tell me unless you really have!" "Oh, I've cracked it all right. I've decoded the whole NFL. Decades of work, late night study and corporate espionage have finally paid off! We'll own the fucking Super Bowl, Paul. They'll have to rename the fucking trophy after my dad by the time we're done. I've finally got it." "What is it, Mike? What's the secret?" The old man stands. He violently tears his shirt off. He yells, "Oh, there'll be plenty of time for that Paul, plenty of time! But first, I pledged my whole being to this quest, and now it's time for the shit to jump off!" The old man uncaps a bottle of Old Crow whiskey, and takes several slugs straight from the bottle. "Urrrggghh. 50 fucking years of sobriety down the drain! Fuck yea!" He takes several more pulls from the bottle, sputters, coughs, and projectile vomits onto the floor in front of the wall with the headlines and photos. "Ha ha! Fuck you Rooney, you shriveled old bastard! This is it, motherfucker! You can try to hide Kathleen, but I'll find her, and when I do, the panties will be hitting the floor! Ha ha ha!" The old man chugs the rest of the bottle. The younger man looks alarmed, "Jesus Christ Mike, Kathleen Rooney? She's been dead for like 30 years!" "That's what they want you to believe. Haven't you studied my board?" the old man yells. "She's alive, and she's the best piece of ass I ever had, and now I'm gonna tap that ass again! I'm gonna burn that motherfucker down. King Kong ain't got shit on me. That's right, that's right!" Another bottle appears, and the old man chugs half of it. "Paul! My little brother, my little line coach! Come over her motherfucker!" The old man throws his arm around the younger, shockingly stupid looking, man. "See here, Paul! Know why I kept you all these years? You suck, you know that? Know why I kept you?" The old man pulls 3 huge gulps from the bottle. "I kept you because you're named Paul. I didn't even realize it when I hired you. But after you were here, I was like, 'Ain't no fucking way I'm firing a coach from the Cincinnati Bengals who's named Paul. Ain't ever gonna happen!" The old man chugs from the bottle, then throws it against the cinder block wall, shattering it and sending glass shards flying. "Hey NFL! I own your fucking ass now! Ha ha ha!" The old man grabs a walker that's been standing beside him. He approaches his conspiracy wall. "See this shit Paul? Hard fucking work. Hard work by a ***damn Dartmouth grad. Tha's right motherfucker, I'm smart. Not like these public school pukes that own these other teams. Jerry fucking Jones? Motherfucker went to Arkansas! My fucking german shepherd could graduate from Arkansas. Jones can barely fucking read! Do you know I hired some chinaman to develop an algorithm for this shit? Didn't fucking work. I figured it out with my conspiracy wall! Me!" "C'mon Mike, before all that Old Crow kicks in, what's the secret? What?" The old man smiles, pulls the younger man close again. He breathes his words out, "Paul, it all comes down to two words. Two little words. Know what those words are? Do you know what is going to win us the next ten Super Bowls in a row? Two words. And those two words are Compensatory Picks. That's it. Trade Dalton. Trade Geno. I don't even give a fuck any more. Trade AJ. Compensatory picks can be traded now, and we'll have 3 AJ Greens in here before you know it. It's all compensatory picks. We own this league now! Eat shit Kraft, you're a fucking paper salesman! I"m the scion of NFL royalty and I'm a ***damn Dartmouth grad! Go sell some cardboard boxes you fucking hack!" The old man pulls a cellphone from his pocket, dials and says, "Hello, Kathleen? It's on baby! Where you at? What? I don't care if you're wearing Depends. Daddy's ready to smash!!" He hangs up the phone, grabs his walker and begins walking slowly to the door. "Paul, get your car keys, you have to drive me to a nursing home in Altoona, Pennsylvania." He turns, and takes one last look at the board, "Compensatory picks. I should have known all along."
  41. 3 points
    Yup. The only reason they quit trying to reanimate the corpse of 2005 was that after 2010 Palmer quit.
  42. 3 points
    Green injured. Eifert injured. Bernard injured. Burfict suspended and injured. New coaching staff. Loss of Jones and Sanu. Growing pains of Oogie Boogie. Several losses in the 4th quarter. Hobson is already writing his spin for 2017 on how this "should have been" a 10-6 team. Sigh.
  43. 3 points
    Just venting an annoyance: Listening to a Dave and Hoard pre game show. It seems like every Steeler week they ask some beat reporter about if the Steelers respect the Bengals. Comes off as begging for acceptance. Also Steeler reporters always come off as the authority on topics. Who cares? Just beat them at home already.
  44. 3 points
    His call sign is "Doink One".
  45. 3 points
    I am always unhappy with a loss, but 4 things made me happy in that "silver lining" sense 1) Much improved pass rush 2) Andy. He is absolutely not part of the problem. 3) Oogie Boogie benched. Thank you. Put Fisher out there next week and see how it goes 4) The big one - The era of TJ Johnson begins. No, I never like to see a player hurt. No, I am not a fan of TJ Johnson despite sharing initials with him. I AM glad - very glad - that someone not named Bodine was snapping to Andy. Start getting Westerman ready at C, please.
  46. 3 points
    I'd also like to add his and my family spent some good time together. I traveled a long ways to get to the game, but nothing compared to his trip from Scotland. I was in the middle of a corn hole game, and some guy I've never seen before walked up to me and smiled. I knew who it was. After 13 years we finally got to drink a beer together and the Bengals came away with a win. What a fantastic day.
  47. 3 points
    So, here I am, taking a break from being the most negative person on the game threads, to actually being at the game. Just thought I'd sign in before I was too drunk to type! Who dey!!!
  48. 3 points
    We go to the Bengals film room: Paul Alexander sits in a large overstuffed club chair. A snifter of brandy in his left hand, he strokes his beard thoughtfully. His elbow-patched blazer has a distinctive herringbone pattern to it. "Roll the tape, Felicia," he says in a slightly British accent. Felicia rolls the tape. Bengals center Russel Bodine snaps the football, and is trampled by half the Steelers defensive squad as they unleash an all-out assault on the Bengals' backfield. "My God, he's brilliant. His footwork, his arm positioning. He's sublime," says Alexander, stroking his beard, again, thoughtfully. "Roll another one, Felicia." Felicia rolls another one. Bengals center Russel Bodine snaps the football. As he tries to stand up to pass protect, a Ravens defensive tackle trucks him, then steps on his face as he terrorizes Andy Dalton into throwing an incompletion. "Breathtaking. He's a virtuoso. Michelangelo sculpts, Leonardo paints, Bach composes, and Russell Bodine blocks. I'm afraid I'm overcome. (begins to cry) Felicia, don't roll another one until I can compose myself. My god!"
  49. 3 points
    It's never going to end. Hell, just wait until the first game between Pittsburgh and Cincinnati next season. It's a lock to be a primetime game and I guarantee you the promos for it will be 100% Dirty Burfict, Dirty Burfict, Dirty Burfict. And it will draw postseason-caliber ratings as people tune into see Burfict decapitate someone (which he will) allowing the media to go into holier-than-thou overdrive and the league to tut-tut and the network to make plans to flex the second Bengals-Steelers gang fight into prime time in December.
  50. 3 points
    I took my 5-year old to see it and it was one of the greatest parenting moments of my life. She's been watching the original trilogy since she was 4 and is well-versed in the story/characters. To see her face as the opening sequence played was something magical. She could hardly sit still the entire time. On the way out of the theater, she grabbed my hand, kissed it, and said, "I'm glad I have a Daddy like you". Seriously kid? She knows how to pull all my strings. If she asks for a car next week, I'll likely say yes. As for the movie itself, I thought it was a lot of fun. Yeah, you can nitpick it and a lot of people are. But, any problems you want to point out with this one can be found in the original trilogy as well. The originals have been glorified so much, people seem to forget that they have poor character development, plot holes, bad acting, etc. But, it doesn't matter...Star Wars movies aren't meant to be arthouse cinema. It's a fun sci-fi romp with amazing special effects. Enjoy it for what it is, folks, and remember what it is to be a kid again.
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