"Alright Pumpkin, I decided to get into social media to help us in scouting the future men of this organization".
"I'm not quite sure I'm doing this right however".
"I told the app thingy I wanted men who were big, strong, and real take charge kind of guys".
"Next thing you know I was flooded with responses from these young men wanting me to send wrinkled raisin pics".
"Not only that, I think they thought I was talking about baseball because they asked if I liked to pitch or catch?"
"I know there are hand and arm measurements, but we must measure penises nowadays for all the photos I received."